Sunday, September 07, 2008

Breaking my habits

Woke up early morning even though I went out for supper with my college friends till late last night. I wish there is a day when I can sleep until I can wake up naturally but this seems impossible for this year. Sigh…loaded with all kinds of work from different activities. Since when have I become a machine who sits in front of my laptop and type on and on by referring to something called a “to-do-list” so that I can have all the items on it cancelled at the end of the day. This is so not me. My outings are usually short and rushed. I even have to consider if I should go out due to the chores undone. I sometimes envy those who are so free that they can just sit in front of the laptop to watch drama series or listening to songs.

How long have I not been updated with the newest songs? Long enough until I just realize that Linkin Park’s latest album “Minutes to Midnight” which was actually released last year to be so pleasant to listen to. I love “Leave out all the rest” and “Shadow of the Day” best. So not like the old Linkin Park who used to scream in their songs but still so nice. Just like the me who used to be so laid back and carefree but have to abide to the responsibilities attached to me now. I have been tamed without being aware of it at all. Been tied by invisible ropes called duties and responsibilities. I even wonder why have I become so autonomous and even offer to take down some of the tasks. People change I guess. Instead of going out to have fun, I have to close myself in my room for self-entertainment. I just discovered a few ways to release stress. Eating chocolate and listening to soft music especially oldies. Been downloading English oldies which I was not even interested in back then. Been eating chocolate like it’s a medicine that cures overwork minds. Chocolate works miraculously for me to beat stress. A piece of chocolate a day keeps moodiness away but I hope I don’t welcome diabetes instead. And did I say I am experiencing sleep deprivation? Being a person who enjoys quality sleep so much shouldn’t be giving up on such a great hobby. Worse, communication with others has been reduced. Most of the time I deal with others, it has to be about the things to be done. I wish I can just sit down and talk crap.

Hmm…I think I should cut the chores I have in hand a little so that I feel more comfortable. I guess when it comes to group work, I just need to distribute some of the parts to others, I guess I have been to idealistic that I make sure all the things done should be the best but barely do I realize that it could be ideal in my opinion but not in other’s. So I should try to believe in others in the team. Yeah, that’s what I will do. Easy…easy, don’t get too tensed.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Aging with Grace

It has been gloomy since morning. I am doing my revision for next week’s exam for Adult Development and Aging while surfing the net. I come across this website which listed the world’s 20 saddest songs. Some of the issues include heart breaking relationships, unsuccessful marriage, lonely childhood, suicidal thoughts, and depression. I was stuck at number fifteen. The song is “My Mom” by Chocolate Genius. I had no idea who this guy was before, until I listen to his song. The chorus part sounds “my mom, my sweet mom, she don’t remember my name”. The singer’s mother does not remember him not because of abandonment but Alzheimer. It is really sad that the person you have known these years, who have loved you and nurtured you all the while forgetting who you are. You will get a clearer picture if you listen to the whole song. It is a heart touching melody which triggers me.

Human cannot defy nature no matter how advance scientific researches can be. No one can avoid from being old. Being in this world for 2 decades, we have seen people around us who get old each day. It is because we are still young, we cannot taste how it is like to become old, but I can feel that my parents are getting old. I think that both my parents are great parents. They might not be rich, the might not be famous, but they are the most fantastic people in my life. My father used to be a fair person. Due to long hours working under the sun, he becomes over tanned. The tone of his hand and legs are so contrast when he wears shorts. I told him to apply sunscreen to avoid skin damage due to UV rays but he said it is a waste. I felt so bad because even though I am not exposed to the sun for long hours, I apply sunscreen whenever I go under the sun. His skin tone is like a sign of his sacrifice to earn a living to sustain the family. Both my parents were good looking people. My mum was a pretty young woman. I saw it in her photo album. I still think she is still pretty now despite the traces that time leaves on her. My mum is a hardworking housewife who does not care too much about her beauty. Unlike some housewives of her age, she does not buy many fancy clothes, visit beauty salons or dyes her hair. She wants to save money for her children’s education.

I am ashamed that I have been an irresponsible daughter. I am always busy with my own things but seldom being busy for my parents whereas they have been giving their youth to raise us up. I wish I can spend more time with them, understand them more before it is too late. My father is in his fifties now, I am so grateful that he and mum are still so healthy. I really hope I can go home more often, I miss them a lot. I used to complain that being with my friends is much fun than being with them. Suddenly, I realize how important this subject is for my course. It reminds us to respect and appreciate the elders.

To listen to the song, "My Mom", click this link.