Thursday, November 04, 2010

Soul Mate

While there is a mixture of longing for a romantic relationship, and self-contentment being single, I don't believe in trying too hard to look for the One. It's different from maintaining a relationship though (that, I believe I would try my best after I decided to commit). I still believe in serendipity although I was proven wrong, for certain reasons only God knows because love happens at a rendezvous when we don't look too hard nor expect too much. Being open for the best and the rest shall fall into place is what I believe in.

And so, I was being asked of, "Why are you still SINGLE?"

(Monologue: bloody question, I seriously don't know where to start from. I need a point of reference).

And obviously, this isn't a pleasurable question that I'd delightfully answer, as there are too many answers to it. In short, the time, the people, the reasons and feelings doesn't happen to be right.

This usually follows, "What do you look for in your Boyfriend/ Partner?"

Frankly speaking, I'm pretty much looking for a soul mate, which is why it's even harder? (think of that as a long term relationship, all those fun and excitement vanishes and what's left are the uninterested looks of guys who just want flings). No one says it's easy...

So, this is the list, that I made, as a guideline for what I look for my future partner.

1. Have Chemistry

2. Someone who knows how to respect and love (or at least have the initiative to learn how to and improve over time)

3. Someone who accepts me wholeheartedly

4. Someone whom I can learn, share and grow through life (this takes a responsible, mature and macho man, not just any boys, perhaps. But of course, if I happen to love the boy so much, I won't mind showing him how to be a man, make sense?)

5. (I forget if there's actually a number 5...oh well, maybe not in my toppest priority that's why I can't recall)

Surprisingly short, and generic right? But extremely essential.

I used to have a longer list. Ranging from how the person should look like, his qualities, to values and attitudes. It's a much specific list, compared to this one. Over the years, I just figured that as we grow, our perceptions and needs change along. So what's the point of having this toilet-roll length descriptions of what I look for in a partner? Screw the list and go with the flow! It doesn't mean I'm settling for scraps...just falling in and out of love aimlessly or giving myself excuses to experiment with different guys. Being single for this whole period of time, in fact, made me grow. I learn to know myself better, give some space and hopes for romance but not in dread to jump into one. And ultimately, it trains my patience, to wait for someone, who is worthy! And i always believe that for something great to happen, it's worth the wait.

Of course, for a romantic relationship to bloom, it takes much more than that. I can write a book about it, but to cut it short, it takes the right person, the right time, the right feeling and an amount of similar values, goals and interests to ignite that something. I used to think that expectation in our partners is like trading, which I disagree with. So what if you find the 'perfect' person in the right package, fulfilling your list, but just comes in at a wrong time, or even there's this lack of chemistry?

We need that abit of some irrationalities, emotions, or unexplained factors to feel that we're in love afterall! I didn't mean that you'd fall crazily for someone who is able to spark that romance nerves of yours and immediately jump into the ocean of love without figuring when you'd be drowned because when you wake up the next day, it happens that there's nothing similar in you except physical attraction? or simply call it lust?

Being a little more practical or realistic doesn't necessarily kill the romantic elements in a relationship. Love is an art, which both parties have to work closely together to make it more perfect. As I believe in, soul mates are made not found. When they're made by you, they're tailored for you. And when the two people can make it through, the results yield are beyond what satisfaction can bring.

Good love simply brings out the best of two persons.

There's this quote which reads: If you want to be fast, travel alone. If you want to go far, travel with someone.

Perhaps, this quest is like travelling. For the time being, I'm enjoying being a nomad. I'll settle down when I find a place which I'd call home. Or that, my journey will be more interesting when the right person joins this venture.


At 10:06 AM, Blogger Eason said...

cool ~

At 10:44 PM, Anonymous Paul Bellamy said...

I came across your blog by accident, and really love your list of what you're looking for in a partner. I was interested in knowing, how's the search going?

At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 3:11 AM, Blogger anant kher said...

Dear Shan... I came across to your blog by chance and I am very much impressed with your thought of expression . You are absolutely right about your Soul Mate. If you get some time try to read my blog You will get lot of feedback for your brain to decide your soul mate. Wish you all the best.

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