Friday, April 01, 2005


There was a parade last night. It rained, so I didn’t witness it. Sigh, I’m very reluctant to grow up yet but people are pressuring me. I have an aunt who is an insurance sales representative. Knowing that I’m working part time now and has a pitiful little earning, she urged me to buy one policy for myself. I really didn’t know how to reject her because she intended to brainwash me (or rather persuade me to buy the insurance policy). My mum told me not be influenced by her because it’s not simple to get a policy and actually understand it thoroughly. Furthermore, I’m continuing my studies soon and cannot afford to pay the fees if I don’t have extra income in the future. We were arguing about this and that. I wanted to be a more responsible person but I think this is really putting me in hell. My sister thinks it’s better that I save money to maintain my car (if I get one real soon) than worrying about accidents/ sickness that might hit me years ahead. On the other hand, things are unpredictable and I know that I’m always been very indecisive. Any advice from you?
I’m getting very moody these days. The dilemma is giving me a hard time. As I had another driving lesson today, my teacher told me that I’ve never improved. My self- esteem sank. It’s very a horrible thing to hear, no space for improvement means something like the end of the world to me. He can say I’m lousy or slow but this case makes me feel quite helpless. OMG, I feel like I wanna cry now… I feel like a 3- year- old who’s being bullied by the harsh and realistic world out there…


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