(more than) Me,Myself & I

Soul Mate

2010-11-04T15:30:00.002+08:00

While there is a mixture of longing for a romantic relationship, and self-contentment being single, I don't believe in trying too hard to look for the One. It's different from maintaining a relationship though (that, I believe I would try my best after I decided to commit). I still believe in serendipity although I was proven wrong, for certain reasons only God knows because love happens at a rendezvous when we don't look too hard nor expect too much. Being open for the best and the rest shall fall into place is what I believe in.

And so, I was being asked of, "Why are you still SINGLE?"

(Monologue: bloody question, I seriously don't know where to start from. I need a point of reference).

And obviously, this isn't a pleasurable question that I'd delightfully answer, as there are too many answers to it. In short, the time, the people, the reasons and feelings doesn't happen to be right.

This usually follows, "What do you look for in your Boyfriend/ Partner?"

Frankly speaking, I'm pretty much looking for a soul mate, which is why it's even harder? (think of that as a long term relationship, all those fun and excitement vanishes and what's left are the uninterested looks of guys who just want flings). No one says it's easy...

So, this is the list, that I made, as a guideline for what I look for my future partner.

1. Have Chemistry

2. Someone who knows how to respect and love (or at least have the initiative to learn how to and improve over time)

3. Someone who accepts me wholeheartedly

4. Someone whom I can learn, share and grow through life (this takes a responsible, mature and macho man, not just any boys, perhaps. But of course, if I happen to love the boy so much, I won't mind showing him how to be a man, make sense?)

5. (I forget if there's actually a number 5...oh well, maybe not in my toppest priority that's why I can't recall)

Surprisingly short, and generic right? But extremely essential.

I used to have a longer list. Ranging from how the person should look like, his qualities, to values and attitudes. It's a much specific list, compared to this one. Over the years, I just figured that as we grow, our perceptions and needs change along. So what's the point of having this toilet-roll length descriptions of what I look for in a partner? Screw the list and go with the flow! It doesn't mean I'm settling for scraps...just falling in and out of love aimlessly or giving myself excuses to experiment with different guys. Being single for this whole period of time, in fact, made me grow. I learn to know myself better, give some space and hopes for romance but not in dread to jump into one. And ultimately, it trains my patience, to wait for someone, who is worthy! And i always believe that for something great to happen, it's worth the wait.

Of course, for a romantic relationship to bloom, it takes much more than that. I can write a book about it, but to cut it short, it takes the right person, the right time, the right feeling and an amount of similar values, goals and interests to ignite that something. I used to think that expectation in our partners is like trading, which I disagree with. So what if you find the 'perfect' person in the right package, fulfilling your list, but just comes in at a wrong time, or even there's this lack of chemistry?

We need that abit of some irrationalities, emotions, or unexplained factors to feel that we're in love afterall! I didn't mean that you'd fall crazily for someone who is able to spark that romance nerves of yours and immediately jump into the ocean of love without figuring when you'd be drowned because when you wake up the next day, it happens that there's nothing similar in you except physical attraction? or simply call it lust?

Being a little more practical or realistic doesn't necessarily kill the romantic elements in a relationship. Love is an art, which both parties have to work closely together to make it more perfect. As I believe in, soul mates are made not found. When they're made by you, they're tailored for you. And when the two people can make it through, the results yield are beyond what satisfaction can bring.

Good love simply brings out the best of two persons.

There's this quote which reads: If you want to be fast, travel alone. If you want to go far, travel with someone.

Perhaps, this quest is like travelling. For the time being, I'm enjoying being a nomad. I'll settle down when I find a place which I'd call home. Or that, my journey will be more interesting when the right person joins this venture.

Pisces

2010-09-19T02:48:00.004+08:00

If I really have the memory span of a fish, I can live a new life every few seconds. I get to start over again and again. I don't get bored because I never realise that I'm repeating. But really, the irony is...

I despise repeating myself.

I hate my life being boring.

Hence, I'm constantly creating new memories.

I don't want to be reminded of my past.

I just wish to be a happy fish.

I can't relive the past.

Simply because I'm unrepeatable.

the shadow of my own,

is not something I can mirror on.

It is like an art,

where the artist waves her brush

the drawing that merges every part

in the middle of a midnight hush.

In magic she believes,

and how the rain actually relieves.

It was not the shadow that she fear,

For she would not give it a tear.

"You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own..." - D.M. Dellinger

From CEO under 30. A reminder for myself...

2010-09-17T02:31:00.002+08:00

1. Your room for improvement is always your biggest room — so spend some time filling it up.

2. How do you combat inexperience? Over preparation.

3. There is never a substitute for enthusiasm: not skill, not talent, not expertise– the person with enthusiasm always wins.

4. In ever adversity, there lies a seed of equal or greater benefit.

5. Five years from now, your future will be most determined by the books you read and the people you associated with.

6. Many of the rewards in life come when you are out there on the extra mile.

7. You have to have some principles that you can believe in and that you won’t waver from.

8. Never forget where you came from…and you helped you get there.

9. There is no luck in success. Success is where opportunity and preparation meet.

10. Observe what the masses of people do, and then do the opposite.

People need to be motivated. If it's not innate, pick it up. Have to admit that's what I'm doing. I might not be made, but I'm becoming...

my ideal self... this is a promise I made to myself. I must realise my self... and not live in the shadows anymore...

like said, when there is shadow, there is LIGHT.

Wild Child switch Turned ON

2010-09-03T00:10:00.002+08:00

ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.

I think I do enjoy doing things without sequence. It's really hard to get things done especially meeting deadlines but that's just how I work best. Deadlines simply kill my ability to create new and evolutionary ideas. If I have to balance, the next thing I need to learn tis to be disciplined. Period.

To start off with, we might have to get our hands dirty...

2010-09-02T22:44:00.005+08:00

Adam Ferguson believes that facing difficult moments honestly — without emotionally separating himself from the situation at hand — yields more engaging photographs.

Easy to say? He covers war.

“The moment I become unaffected or unable to feel,” Mr. Ferguson said, “it would be time to go and do something else with my life. The war would have got me.”

“Then all of a sudden I am recording an event that makes these guys look bad,” he continued. “You have a sense of loyalty to them, and you have to reconcile that in relation to your integrity as a journalist.

“As much as it is my job to engage emotionally, it’s also my job to record history, so I can’t break down and cry,” he said. “I have to work and contain my tears. And the more one holds on to their tears, the harder they become to let go.”

“Even though war is tragic,” he said, “it is inherently exciting. Normal life can be banal. After war, engaging with stories that require you to rekindle yourself emotionally, stories that make you laugh and cry, is — I believe — important to maintaining a balance.”

“As a young photographer,” he said, “it’s easy to be filled with ambition and naively forget that what you experience stays with you. If you go to war, it will change you. And it wouldn’t be normal if it didn’t.”

I've always think that to be an outstanding person, we have to be exceptional...as in we have to go as far as to places which "normal" people won't go. In simpler terms, we gotta get out of our comfort zone, constantly stimulate ourselves to the realise our greater potential. We never know where it ends. And it'd probably be bottomless. I admire this young Australian photographer who is only 32 years old. He inspires me. And I feel like stepping out of my comfort zone is a calling... I feel like I can't just live a normal life anymore... I feel like I need to do something which they would call me crazy but I won't give a d*mn when I decide to go.

I was thinking abt how ppl seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

George Carlin

This is another special personality that I have just got to know. He's good in what he does although I don't agree to everything he says and his over-usage of "bullsh*t". Whatever. It's his style. I just like the fact that he's mean and frank which is sometimes how reality is.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin

I guess that's his projection. If it were, it fits perfectly like a puzzle.

Between dreams and reality. This dilemma that might tear me apart. We live life once, what are we gona do with it?

I don't know how long I have...I mean nothing in this life is solely owned or permanent. How can I create something that is exclusively mine? The only way would be making changes and make sure the changes are significant to be written in history.

How far am I willing to go? I don't know yet. We shall see how destiny unfolds...

Tonight, I'm in the adventurer's mode. The archetype just come out to play.

Jack London Credo quoted by Irving Shepard

2010-09-02T21:33:00.003+08:00

I would rather be ashes than dust!

I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.

I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.

The function of man is to live, not to exist.

I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.

I shall use my time.

I just find that he (Jack London) is an interesting writer. My told me that the fortune teller once told me that I'll be building my career on writing. I don't know what my destiny will be but writing has always been something I enjoy doing. There are too much information out there and I hope that I can do some FREE FLOW writing, not something too generic or commercial.

London is definitely not my first idol. The person who made the greatest impression on me when I was young is Charles Dickens. I cried when I read his biography which portrays how much hardship he has been through. His life experiences has great influences on his work which are projections of his own life. That is fascinating!

Another classical writer I adore is Hans Christian Andersen, the infamous Danish Fairy Tale writer. I used to love his stories more than anyone else's. Fairy tales leave space for us to imagine. They make us believe in possibilities. And I have come to accept myself for being dreamy after some time when I got lost in between, to get into the realistic side of living. If I would, I rather die of pursuing my dreams than to live a normal life and die without any different accomplishments in life.

That ignites the adventurer archetype in myself which I'm nurturing to set out a spiritual journey of self-discovery which I promise myself before I actually settle down and start a "normal' adult life (i.e. get a stable job, relationship, buy a house and contribute to the society and so on).

I'm gona let my spirits free! And live out the best in me. It's yet to happen but it shall happen!

The Ups-and-Downs of Losing Something Precious

2010-08-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

One of my favourite lecturers says grief and loss of a relationship is the reason people seek help from counsellors. I experienced a loss of a special kind of relationship.

It has been more than 24 hours. I had not heard news about my Samsung Wave which was out of my sight. To be exact, I don’t have the full ownership of this phone. I am supposed to return it to Samsung and GoMobile after trying it out.

My feelings had been like a ride on a roller coaster from the moment I discovered it wasn’t in my pocket until I started to write this down. I searched and searched when I first discovered its disappearance in the crowd for more than an hour. I reported my loss to the management and was assured that they would ring me up should they found it or that someone would give it to them. I thought, yeah, there are two “NOT FOR SALE”s signs engraved on the phone, how can someone sell it out? Unless the person does not understand what that means. I calmed down a little after that hoping that anyone who saw it would be kind enough to return to the management.

Hence I keep calling my number. There was no response. I started to get anxious as the clock goes round. My friends told me from their past experiences that there would be a chance of it missing and not coming back again in this case. They rationalize that a person who would return it to me would contact me through all means. My heart almost shattered to have to accept this possibility. I had been constantly telling myself that people would be kind and honest. This is definitely one of the days I could blurb out four-letter-words, like L-O-V-E…

NAH! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING! I’ve been reminding myself to really AVOID the usage of rude words but this time, I can’t find substitutes.

My initial hope seems so gloomy ever since. I had to attend a compulsory workshop after that. I dragged myself there but my heart wasn’t there. All I had been thinking was my phone. In the session, every participant had to describe their current emotions. There were lists of positive and negative descriptions and I chose “INSPIRATIONAL”. My mind was so busy spinning thoughts. I tried my best not to affect people around me by showing face or bad mood until break time. We were allowed to do whatever we wanted to.

I walked off alone thinking about the whole process of losing my phone. I was extremely angry at myself for being careless and not persistent enough to continue searching. My emotions got so intense at a point that I started to lose control and cry. I seriously dislike a situation which is out of my control and I put all the blame on myself for making that happen. Whose responsibility of taking care of my possession is it if not mine? Could there be anyone else I could point my finger to?

It was really heavy. I had not cried for a long, long time. Not even when I was under stress whatsoever. Usually, I would try to solve the problem or shift my focus to something else. This time, I allowed myself to cry out like a child. I just cried as I walked alone. I was like, I have every right to cry for losing something. There’s no point to withhold the pain and continue to pretend that nothing happened. In the training as a counsellor, we are encouraged to be genuine to others and to ourselves and at that point, I just let it out. All my guilt and pain of the loss. It so happen that the last time I lose something was some time ago and the past experience emerges with this loss.

At the end of day, it’s not about what I lost. It’s the helplessness when things get out of control freaks me most. Imagine my Facebook, Twitter and Email accounts which were accessible in a few taps on the screen. I so totally needed a “What you have to do when you lose your smartphone 101”.

And luckily my brain was still able to function and it told me to change the passwords. Then it warmed up a bit and worked better. Instead of waiting naively for the person to switch on the phone after ten thousand calls, I called Digi to bar my number. Their customer service which is superb actually helped me to reduce my stress level. After consulting some friends, they suggested me to file a loss report.

Pei Leng was kind enough to accompany to lodge a police report. This is my very first time so I looked really dumb. I sat down at the counter and started to tell the police about the incident and she asked me, “Boleh buat cerita tak?” I was really puzzled,like, “Huh? Cerita? Ini bukanlah karangan UPSR kan? Ini kisah benar!” That was my monologue though. I typed a short paragraph which I doubt my primary school BM teacher would grade it an “A” but it seems fine for a report. I almost forgot I was in a police station, darn.

I also called to inform the person-in-charge of GoMobile about the incident. He was very understanding and told me that they would discuss it and let me know how to solve this problem.

My feelings went down again after the long, tiring day. This time, it is about losing the pictures I capture in my university life over the past 3 years. It made me feel extremely heavy-hearted. I knew I needed someone to talk to so I went to June’s room. I told her that the pictures and videos captured are irreplaceable. Now that the chance seems so slim, it makes me feel even sadder. She said something which lightened my heart instead, “It’s ok, we’ll make new memories”. I was instantly enlightened and feel grateful that I am blessed to be surrounded by nice people.

I really wish whoever has the phone now would put the phone to good use if he/she does not have the intention to return it to me. It’s afterall a great piece of gadget one would easily fall in love with. After this though, a bulb lightened up. If I could forgive the person who took my phone, why can’t I forgive myself and stop those self-blaming? The loss had definitely made me think. Perhaps that stimulated my potential of being a philosopher to say something like “By letting go, you gain”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not referring to my Wave, I’m talking about my emotions.

Secretively, I still hope miracles would happen i.e. as the person browse through my phone, he/she was greatly entertained by my videos (rated “U” kind, ok? E.g. me imitating the Vice Chancellor during college dinner because her speech was so long I got too hungry and became silly) or inspired by the notes I took down whenever I travel alone. My goodness, my collection of SS (Syok Sendiri) pictures which were never published is now is someone else’s hand. The thought of it alone is embarrassing and terrifying although those pictures are just plain decent pics.

Moral of the story, take good care of your valuables at all times may be a possession or even a relationship. Don’t only regret after losing it and remember its goodness. In this case, I’m starting to miss the Super AMOLED screen, the clarity of speaker, the powerful processor which makes web surfing a pleasure, the cool apps which I downloaded for free, the mini diary which I practically write about personal stuff, the photo album which contains random pictures I snap and the convenience of tweeting from everywhere.

My relationship with this phone is slightly over a month and I seriously wanted it to last much much LONGER. It is officially a relationship because my life is somehow affected now and things weren’t the same as I have personalized the phone. I really hope that my baby would still come back to me L or rather would I say someone, please return my baby to me! I know this sounds silly but I would buy it back if I was given the offer. I’ll make sure this would be the first and also last time I lose a mobile phone.

My (lame) Fav Quotations

2010-08-07T18:14:00.002+08:00

Imagine you're looking into my biodata from my Facebook account...

Under the favourite quotation part, it nearly reads something like this:

Serious ones (the list is long so this one represents all the others that I discover every day and even moments):

Every day is a bliss, every moment in life is a miracle.

Less Serious ones:

1. KKK (Ketawa Keluar Kuat) - Ya, I kiasu la...don't wana let others claim this as theirs.

2. Coolness- meaning ok

3. Huh?- an indication of blurriness

4. KNS- a hue of japanese-y inspired by Chua Yang Lip so that it sounds more decent.

5. nyehehe- rings whenever an evil thought surfaces

I ALMOST did that...that close but was sane enough to cancel the edits because my sanity pulled me back to reality. And it all started with the "KKK" thingy. Lame. Really.

Added Twitter to my Blog! Yeah!

2010-07-21T22:11:00.003+08:00

Finally, this blog seems to be more complete. Sad to say I've not been giving much attention to my blog ever since the humongous growth of Social Media. I can't say that I dwell in there but I do spend a lot of time on Facebook and Twitter.

I seriously don't even know if there's anyone reading my blog still, but since I keep this as a site to write down my personal thoughts pretty much more like a diary so, I don't really see a point to publicise it. I still feel that this blog is really the most personal tool that I record my feelings with. If I get to read back, I really see how my thoughts change over time.

I'm glad I didn't neglect this site at all despite the infrequent updates.

NOW, I introduce Twitter into this blog. Which is even better than before. Twitter is like a personal notepad to me. I record quotes that I find meaningful and also thoughts which felt "impulsively" to be released. Yeah, it's my way of releasing intense emotions sometimes. So that I maintain my sanity and not exert it to people around me. I believe I do get a little more creative when I get a bit emotional sometimes :D haha... such an excuse but there's truth in it.

Also, I notice my idealist archetype pops up as I choose the colour for the interface of my Twitter widget. I don't like to call myself a perfectionist, really. Not that I don't appreciate perfection, but it is positioned at too high a level almost unreachable that makes it so desirable. So, no, I leave space to that perfection, to be filled with betterment :)

Short post of today :) I love my blog. I'm glad that I keep one. It'll mark my journey all along and I do hope that I'll update more often.

A morning of insight

2010-07-15T09:56:00.003+08:00

Saw Teong Hin, 48, is a man with many 'flaws'. By his own admission, his greatest flaw would be his dogged, almost tireless determination - but that, indeed, is what led him to direct Puteri Gunung Ledang, widely acclaimed as one of the most lavish and successful local movies of our time.
Despite struggling for years in pursuit of his dream to direct a movie, sheer perseverance (and just a little bit of luck) pushed him through to emerge as one of our country's most recognized and respected directors. Malaysian Today steals some of his time during the launch of the Georgetown Festival, a month-long arts festival in Penang in which he will be directing his first theatre debut: The classic Emily of Emerald Hill.

By Pauline Wong

Malaysian Today: Share with us a little bit about your background.
Saw Teong Hin: I actually started in a completely different field. In Singapore, I was reading Double Physics and Math in university. When I returned to KL to look for a job, I started to question what I really wanted to do. Flipping through the Yellow Pages for some inspiration, I landed on 'A' for Advertising - and I thought 'Ah, I could do that.' So I began cold-calling advertising agencies, asking for vacancies, but nobody would even meet me. Not until Ogilvy and Mater, where Faridah Merican (who is now on the Board of Directors at O&M) met me and she liked me! She told me that she didn't have any vacancies, but she knew someone who did: Joe Hasham. So I joined his production company, as a production crew in 1986.

Q: What was that like?
A: In those days it was not specialized, so it was 'one-leg kick'. I carried lights, swept floors, did wardrobe and even locations, casting... I did everything. On hindsight it was fantastic - I learnt a lot very quickly. Joe was very kind to me, and within nine months, he made me a producer. My very first job was a huge shoot for American Express. From there on, I joined various advertising agencies, worked for Video Headquarters and started my own production company in the end, working on commercials for Astro and such. But all this while I was always a producer, and I got bored. (laugh) I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do, but all I did know how to do was film production! Until somebody suggested I try my hand at directing, saying "Well, you love telling people what to do!" (laughs). My first directing job was the 'Fanatic' video for KRU, and it won many awards and launched my career, in a sense. That was around 1996.

Q: Take us through to the point where you directed Puteri Gunung Ledang (PGL).
A: My burning ambition was to direct a movie, and at some point the video music/TV commercial work got distracting for me. Sure it was good to have work, but it takes time and tender loving care to make a movie and it got in the way of me doing that. So I stopped to devote myself to directing a movie, and it took me another two years to land PGL.

Q: And what was that like?
A: It was phenomenal. I always say this: It was like winning the lottery. There I was, struggling for two years to get a chance to direct a movie, and I was on the verge of giving up and going back to TV commercials when it happened for me - a series of great coincidences that just happened. I dare to say that I am very fortunate and I was very lucky. It was never a grand plan or anything.

Q: But what kept you going for those two years?
A: Dogged determination! I must say it's a flaw of my character! I never give up easily, and once I want to do something I see it to the end to the best of my ability. No matter what.

Q: How do you decide what films or commercials you make? What is your vision?
A: The most important thing to me is the material. It has to have some resonance with me. If I respond to it then I will develop it. Otherwise, no, because the process is long and painstaking. A film takes a minimum of two to three years of your life, so do you want to spend it on something you don't believe in? It is very idealistic of me, but I suppose that is my other big flaw.

Q: What would you say is the challenge for film directors in our local film industry?
A: Well, I dare be presumptuous by saying that the biggest problem is raising the money. The next is finding brave producers or investors who will be interested in doing something different. In the end of the day, it is a business proposition. So if the market shows that a certain type of movie works, then it is nobody's fault that those films keep getting made. But at the same time I feel, as a film maker and producer, we have a responsibility to grow or develop the market. In time, I feel the market would prove that there is space for mainstream and marginal films, and not just one type of film. I'm not saying that one type of movie is better than the other, but diversity in our film industry is lacking right now. This, in turn, leads to some local directors who have achieved acclaim elsewhere but are virtually unknown in our country, as well as directors who have great commercial success locally but are unfairly maligned! It is the nature of the industry.

Q: What makes you tick - what makes you wake up and want to get behind the camera?
A: (pause) I think, the first thing that gets me going is that with every project I take on, I learn something new about myself. I am of a certain age, and I dare say I know myself pretty well, but when you work with the material, you'd be surprised at how little you know about yourself and life. This discovery process for me is wonderful. It continuously surprises me what I discover about myself, the world and different points of view. Many a time I've worked with actors, cameramen and such and I find that everyone brings their own sensibilities to it. Everyone has a different idea of something. Everyone has something different to bring to the table and I've often found myself thinking: Wow, I've never thought of it that way.

Q: When did it hit you that you've achieved what you wanted to do?
A: I remember the first day of shooting for PGL, when we went to Lake Kenyir by motorboat (it took over an hour). It was early in the morning, and as we approached the location, I saw so many barges with cranes on them and a whole department of people. And it hit me: Oh my god, I am directing all this! I felt like a kid in a toy store!

Q: So what would you tell an aspiring young director?
A: The involvement of the young in the arts and such has increased, and so many more youth are interested in it. But as with the arts, it is always very idealistic - but the reality is harsh. Very harsh. It is challenging, the rewards and remuneration is low, and it an incredible amount of work. And if you're looking for love, look elsewhere! (laugh) Unless it is love for the arts - it all boils down to love, or else one would give up easily. Ask anyone in the industry. It is hard. All I can tell them is to persevere. Use your time productively. Hone your skills, travel more, learn more and live more. Life is the best teacher so practise your craft as often as you can in any capacity.

This is a piece of interview which I really like. I have seen Pauline (the writer) personally and think that she did an awesome piece with the director. After reading this, there's fire ignited in me. I feel like Wow, maybe this is what I really want to do! Those ambitions that I filled in the blue cards our school teachers used to give us, journalist is one of them. At this stage and this age, I have done not too many things but there are things that really makes me reflect. I can't be everyone, but I can be someone. I still believe I can be anyone I want to be. (I'm never a believer of limitations and I like to screw people who tell me in my face that I can't be doing so many things and must only choose one). At least, writing is not something that I would give up.

I'm glad that now I actually get the chance to liaise with media. I get closer and enjoy more of media from a different perspective. Despite the fact that I didn't take up Mass Communication in the first place, I still arrive at a very grateful state that I pick up different values and develop into a better person in a different way.

I guess this is the declaration of my day: I'm very grateful of who I've become and will continue to strive for betterment!

Can't Believe My previous post was 2 months ago!

2010-07-14T00:19:00.005+08:00

I think I've been spending too much time on FB and Twitter that I almost abandon my blog. I feel so sorry that this occurs for many times. I still think I love my blog whenever it comes to writing emotional stuff and also some long winded descriptions of experience etc.

I really think I have changed over time. Especially when I talk to June today. She thinks I have changed over the sememester break. I'm surprised by this statement. I've always thought I'm still myself. The simple girl who as she used to be and continue being. But our close friends are usually our best mirrors. I shall find out why and how to maintain a balance :)

A new semester marks a beginning of many things. There's a list that I have to run through really soon. This sem seems like another busy sem for me, as they've normally been. I have some resolutions which I shall keep to and I really to enhance my self management and increase time efficacy.

I shall pat myself on the shoulder and be prepared for the great things to come with a smile :)

I call this DOUBLE HAPPINESS.

2010-05-12T21:19:00.008+08:00

It takes an open mind and a fine heart to discover and capture all the nice things in life. The belief in great things is the key to whether they'll happen to you or just pass you by.

"Echoes of the Rainbow" is a very touching movie that I've watched recently. The hero in the movie, Desmond says that double rainbow is very rare. I so happened to have seen one and was lucky enough to capture it. So I believe I am lucky. I forgot who I was with at that time. I was the one that realises there's actually two layer of the rainbow. It takes a closer scrutiny to discover it.

This is a simple but extremely decent song which is hard not to love it. I like the simple melody and lyrics which makes it so beautiful. Someone warn me not to be too naive in believing things which are too good to be true. I'm not sure how true that staement holds but all I know is, things which are great do exist...If we don't grab hold of it, it may just pass us by. I rather be "fooled" and believe in such great things than not trying at all.

Lost in age...

2010-05-03T20:41:00.004+08:00

当你爱上对方时，应该会有这九种情感，才能算是一个真实的爱情，最起码，你应该扪心自问，将来是否有可能培养出这样的情感来，才能确保你拥有一个真的爱情。

　1.生理上的性冲动：当我们对一位异性产生兴趣或爱上某个异性时，希彼此有身体上的接触。在真实的爱情生活里，这种欲望是永远存在的。性冲动并不单单只是行为，它还包含了许多其它亲密的身体上接触，譬如牵手、拥抱等等，这种情感会永远都存在爱人的心里。

　2.美丽的感觉：在有爱情的时候，我们会觉得对方最好看，即使有别的异性比你所爱的对象好看，但对你而言，他（她）才是最好看的，而且是别人无法相比的。

　3.亲爱的感觉：当你真正爱上一个人，你会有一种很亲切的感觉，他让你觉的很舒服，你可以信任他、依靠他。他像是一个亲密的家人，甚至可以说，比一个家人更亲密，这是亲密加上一种温馨的感觉，就是亲爱的感觉。在这爱情国度里，他不会挑剔你的瑕疵，因为他愿意包容你所有的缺点。

　4.羡慕及尊敬的感觉：一个健康的爱情关系，应当有以对方为荣的感觉，我们会去欣赏对方内在和外在的条件和优点。而且对方也处处以我们为荣。如果我们能有这种感觉，不论他是成功或失败，都会使我们欣赏他的才华。

　5.赞许的爱情：当相爱的时候，我们喜欢夸奖对方，而且不仅是欣赏而已，还喜欢对他人夸奖对方，从夸奖对方的热诚之中，我们可以因此感到无比的快乐。

　6.受到尊重的自尊：一个健康的爱情关系，可以提高一个人的自尊心。让对感觉到活得更有价值，因为爱情使你觉得你有无人可比的独特性，虽然你有优点也有缺点，但是你的独特性使你受到无比的尊重，生命因此而有了价值。

　7.占有欲：爱情是绝对独占的，不能与人分享亲密的男女关系。所以需要以结婚来持续一份爱情，在结婚时彼此相约相许。因此在真实爱情里，互相许诺忠诚是必要的。

　8.行动自由：如果个人有正当的理由，他行动的自由一定要受到尊重，才不会破坏两人之间的爱情关系。

　9.深重的同情心：我们对深爱的人常会有怜惜的感情，经常会为对方考虑，如果对方受到挫折，我们会非常愿意与他分担痛苦和挫折，把对方的苦当作自己的苦难一样，或者更胜于自己的苦难，因为我们愿意为对方而牺牲自己的利益哦~

Another random post. I think I used to like to read this kind of articles some years back. Looking back at the teenage years, I wonder if I would still love like a "fresh sheet of paper". Hmm...maybe I'm searching for that kind of feeling. It's always great to be young at heart and be ready to FALL FREELY in love I guess.

The night I get to know myself better.

2010-05-01T15:26:00.003+08:00

Cherliz
it was really proper english
with an american accent
=P
;)
it was really good english
with some hard vocab that was used

Me
wow..crap!
OMG...i thought i would speak really bad english...all grammar mixed up n stuff :D LOL

Cherliz
hahahaha.... but u talk super lots...
non stop talking
(now I know how much I actually love to talk although I can be extremely quiet sometimes)

So I asked how I was like when I got drunk. It was a historical moment because I never get to this stage. Some more I puked over 3 people. One on the hair, one at the back and another one don't know where. I've always thought I would speak bad English if I happen to be drunk but surprisingly, I didn't. I guess my teacher was right. If you need to learn one language which is not your mother tongue, you gotta encode it in your unconscious that even when you're dreaming, you dream in that language. I think I succeeded! WooHoo~ So that's maybe one of the nicer things which I think I know bout myself when I got drunk. So maybe, part of my collective unconscious, IS an American. I don't fake or act out the accent seriously. That's just how I speak although some people are really not used to it. It may not sound as friendly as Manglish (perhaps?)

Second thing. Now I seriously understand what they mean by "when a person is drunk, he/she will deny the fact that he/she IS drunk". In my case, I said something like
"I'm NOT drunk, but I think I'm drunk"
"Oh wait, I think I'm 50 50 drunk" (quoted Huey Ye: "CLASSIC")
I used to watch people get drunk and being carried away. I can't believe this day happens to me TOO. I even slept at the carpark at Huey Ye's home. They said I look so comfortable and reluctant to move. So the 4 "lucky" friends of mine circled me figuring what to do with me as a guy passed by. I think his monologue must be that I've always had when I see others get drunk.

Now, I really know how it's like to be drunk. REALLY. The memory stops after I get drunk. What happens after that was all extremely vague. When I woke up in the morning. The first thing that passes my mind was. "Gosh, I don't remember a thing after that scene. I must have been drunk!"
BINGO because I don't remember thanking everyone at the bar, I don't remember myself talking to the fat, dark bar manager, for more than 5 minutes, and that I sit by the roadside, mumbling non-stop, puked for 10 to 12 times etc.
I never knew I can actually puke because all these while as I never puke over alcoholic drinks, NOT even ONCE. And surprises me once I puke, it's 12 times. WOW!

One tricky thing is, my friends can't actually tell when I actually got drunk because even when I'm not drunk, I can look so "high". I love to take off my shoes and do crazy stuffs (even before I get drunk). So they end up thinking I was just being my normal self until I actually started vomitting. That's the only sign they can pick up.

They took video of me. They asked simple maths questions and my name and it seemed like I had no problem answering correctly. So maybe that's the sane part of me whilst drunk. Some of the few weird things that I said were "I'm ambitious" (gosh, not sure if I'll say that when I'm conscious) and "Sometimes, I need to be protected too" (well, maybe this is a manifestation of what I longed for). And I was protected, by my loyal friends. THANKFULLY I was with them. I could have been in deep trouble if I were not with the right company.

Nevertheless, I feel relieved. Now I know how it's like. Don't think I wana try it again. I'm glad my friends were really patient with me. True friends they are (they NEVER Imagine I would get drunk, SERIOUS) and handled me with care. Dropped me once though, and knocked my head. There's a small bun now and I asked Huey Ye after I finished bathing at her place. Discovered it while shampooing my hair.

I joked, as usual, that this is yet another "unvisited side" of me. Well. All ended up well. First time I get drunk, in my history 30th April, 2010. Aged 23 :D

UPDATE: Seong told me, the drunkard even gave them a lesson. She said, " Lesson, of the day, Don't overestimate yourself and drink more than you can take." @@

叶子

2010-04-26T19:18:00.004+08:00

孤单是一个人的狂欢，狂欢是一群人的孤单

究竟是一个不孤单的人在学习如何面对孤单，

还是一个孤单的人学习如何让自己不再孤单？

I so the LONG TIME didn't update my blog...so-wee...

2010-04-23T12:16:00.004+08:00

And I start off with a sentimental mood in this post...

I was browsing through friends' FB notes and found two really interesting articles. They remind me of how it's like to be in love, or simply the things that one would do when in love (especially the lovey-dovey period). I pretty much evolve from a "feeler" to a "thinker" for many reasons but I can't deny that deep within, I'm a hopelessly sentimental person.
The truth is, I'm afraid to face this part of myself because it's so vulnerable, so unlike the "me" I portray in front of peers and others most of the time.
I think...I might "melt" if I'd meet this guy...I'd become so defenseless and become so helplessly in love again...

男朋友就是每天不厌其烦的陪你吃饭、送送你上下班的那个人；
男朋友就是虽然身上没什么钱，也会请你吃饭的那个人；
男朋友就是早晨你醒来时第一个想到的那个人；
男朋友就是能跟你打电话聊到半夜都舍不得挂的那个人；
男朋友就是在你最艰难的时候陪伴在你身边的那个人；
男朋友就是为了不让你担心，无论出了什么事都要自己默默承担的那个人；
男朋友就是手机里总是存满你给他发的短信，直到信箱满了都舍不得删掉的那个人;
男朋友就是无论你是不是漂亮都会夸赞你漂亮的那个人；
男朋友就是常察看你的手机纪录，确信跟你常联系的都是你的女性朋友才放心的那个人；
男朋友就是在你任性、耍小脾气时，也会忍住脾气不会冲你发火的那个人；
男朋友就是看到你流泪时，为你擦去泪水给你一个温暖拥抱的那个人；
男朋友就是就算你犯了错误，也舍不得骂你的那个人；
男朋友就是可以在车站等你很久也不会介意的那个人；
男朋友就是明明最不喜欢逛街，还能陪你一家一家的逛到你觉得满意为止的那个人；
男朋友就是有着宽厚的肩膀可以让你随时依靠的那个人；
男朋友就是吃饭时放慢速度等你的那个人；
男朋友就是总是让你走在马路内侧的那个人；
男朋友就是过马路时会紧紧拉住你的手的人；
男朋友就是情人节会买花给你的那个人；
男朋友就是深夜为你开着手机的那个人；
男朋友就是当你读到这篇文章时立刻会想到的那个人

Secretively...I have met someone like this...
Someone crosses my mind while reading this...but it has made history and we all move on in our separate ways...I dedicate this to him. I guess, the grief might not have a clear ending, but it remains something mysteriously beautiful.

Someone told me that all the grief will end when I open my heart and let someone else in...And I hope I'm lucky enough to meet this HERO of mine (he might come in singing Enrique Iglesias' "Hero" :D ).
That'll mark a new chapter. I'll continue writing...

A beautiful psychological meaning of Marriage

2010-03-09T11:28:00.005+08:00

Marriage has its origin in the concept of a man & a woman giving themselves to each other for life in order to bring new life into the world .

I find this VERY beautiful as I was browsing through websites doing my assignment for Family Therapy and Counselling. The question was, how mariage is defined in the psychological terms. Relationships is a very wide and deep topic that requires us to learn throughout lifetime. And Marriage, is one of the most sophisticated relationships among all. I hope I'll remember this quote for life so I decided to post it here.

Well, if you wonder why do I post about marriage quotes lately (somebody actually asks), I simply think these are worthy notes which are too BEAUTIFUL to overlook. If I have more time, I'd write more thoughts on it but I need to continue with my assignment. Afterall, it's a topic which may take more posts than I can produce. And it's so subjective not everyone will agree to it (expect some debates).

But if you find this appealing, you may continue reading about Marriage

My Fav quote NOW..and my new TARGET :D

2010-02-22T10:32:00.009+08:00

Don't marry someone you can live with. Marry the person you cannot live WITHOUT.

This quote somehow affect me a lot...and deep enough to make me think (over and over again until I need to write a post on it!).

Isn't it a lot of people are doing the first thing that's why they become unhappy after sometime?

I guess the latter is the kind of relationship which is ideal and will last for a lifetime. A friend said it's a little bit of both. I have to agree to a certain extend but still think that it's not an issue to live with the person you cannot without BUT being able to live with somebody doesn't mean you cannot live without that person.

Which ever it is, I LIKE this quote.

With that, I found my NEW target :D

Remember my status at FB sometime ago which sounds, "I'm addicted to crispy seaweed. I can finish a 50g packet per day. Somebody send me to the REHAB, please!"?

You can see the packets clearly, right?

I know he's good looking BUT look at the SEAWEED behind him!!! WHOAH~ can you imagine the CEO of the manufacturer of this product I'm addicted to look as delicious?

I'm Hooked!

They say a man is the most handsome when he's serious at work, no? PROVE ME WRONG! *air liur meleleh-leleh*

And he looks so loving. PERFECT!

So, I SHOULD marry this guy to get UNLIMITED supply of Seaweed and be the luckiest person on Earth!!! :D

Someone told me that I look like a Thai when I was in year one. I jumped up and down protesting but NOW, I think that's a compliment! I am now so motivated by my new found target :)

Oh, and his name is Tob-Aitthipat Kulapongvanich, 25 years old, founder of Tao Kae Noi Food and Marketing Co.. Heart throbbing (both the owner of the company and the seaweed, of course!)! I SERIOUSLY Hope that I can meet him (first step towards my ultimate goal :D ). For the time being, I'll have to buy my own supply of seaweed which I can't help...to stop. Until someone establish a seaweed rehab for me.

But chances are, I'll relapse, willingly... gosh, I'm so in love...and helpless

Ok, enough of my craziness over seaweed. Some wise words from Tob:

“First, we have to start with ideas. I always think that if you can succeed in one thing, you can continue doing it. If you dare to get into the business world, you have to accept there will always be problems, obstacles and dead-ends. We have to look at problems and obstacles as lessons. We must think that if one door is shut in front of us, there will be another ready to open. No ‘no through road’ for us. What’s very important is a human being can make mistakes and lose some money but you must not be disheartened by that. A disheartened and discouraged person is like a dead man. Only willpower will lead you to success.”

I hope this post is more meaningful with this ending :) and another handsome pic of this young entreprenuer. Impressive. Read more here!

Of Right or Not

2010-02-21T20:36:00.000+08:00

Someone told me, "There are things which you won't know if it is RIGHT. But, there are others which you can tell that they are WRONG right from the start."

Such an impressive statement, almost applicable under any circumstances. The tricky part is, how long would it take, for a person to evaluate "How right" or "How wrong" things may turn into? Or rather, How much should be paid to gain experience from a lesson like this? Will it take a lifetime for some to realise that things have never been right at all?

These are questions worth spending time on because how much time/energy do we have in the wrong things? And how much left do we have in seeking for truth?

The statement "you won't know if it is RIGHT" is like a disclaimer of possibilities, of colours which lie between black and white. Of uncertainties... and I believe that it is tailored in such a beautiful way that brings us hopes and anticipations for the future. And it is also packaged in such a way that we call the moment that we live in right now, PRESENT. We'll never know what's inside, until we unwrap it.

I still believe in possiblities, like the Black Swans, and forever will. With a condition, to remove ignorance from that belief.

I GOT MY ELLE DRESS! wee~

2010-02-07T22:39:00.003+08:00

So, I got my Elle dress as a present from a precious friend of mine! GRACIAS :)
And I bought the trenchcoat I fell for. 2 from my list cancelled! :D
I have in my list a compact digital camera, a touchscreen handphone and trips to S'pore, Hong Kong and Cambridge. Shall realise ONE by ONE :)

Men from Mars, Women from Venus?

2010-01-06T00:02:00.004+08:00

I have a dilemma whether to buy the dress or not mainly because of its price. Therefore, I decided to ask for opinions.
My question was "Do you think I look nice in this dress" or "Do you think I should buy this dress?"
Many girls came and tell me how good it looks and tell me I should buy it and it's worth buying. One of my guy friends told me the same thing, "It looks good on you, go ahead and buy!"
I told him that he was the first guy to tell me so. Then he asked, what about the other guys?
So, I thought, yeah, why didn't I think of that. Then, I made an effort to ask some guys on my MSN list to give some opinions.

Below are some of the responses I gathered. You may be surprised how guys think differently from girls based on same questions.

Guy A: Pricey but still good investment.
Ok, this is a reasonable answer, I'd think in this context too. Like what another guy say, it's not about whether it's expensive or not, it's whether if it is worth the price. Fair enough.

Guy B: If the person is pretty wear any dress also ok de.
Obviously, this answer will make any girl smile but for me, it doesn't help much because I'm rational enough to know that not all dresses suit me. But still, it's a compliment :D

Guy C: The dress makes you look older...it's true...
Ok, that's a different perspective.

Guy D: You know, some guys like to see girls wearing...erm, how to say (I suggested, "Flashy?"). Ya, that's the word...hehe
I asked this to one of my guy friends after I got the answer from C. This guy is honest enough to tell me the truth, a good deduction. "The ugly truth"? haha, I have no idea. Guys being visual "animals" is still a good theory right?

Guy E: I feel like if you add a scarf will look nice and add something bling bling de.
Huh, scarf? Put at where I wonder...I thought the flower is enough as an accessory but still, how does the scarf fit in? And adding bling bling stuff will be more complicated. I hope he didn't mean the hip-hop type. I shall consult him again, seriously.

Guy F: The flower put at the center ar? Thinking how you gona eat...haha
-__-" SWT! seriously, how can he think of this? Well, I might want to ask the sales girl if I can try to eat in the dress before I decide whether to buy or not. This is an important consideration, no? This is critical thinking in action, see. Our KBKK curriculum actually WORKS!

Guy G:

Notice the knot, the one you tie is below. You should tie like this. Green is a challenging colour, go test a few times (in other colours).
This friend really puts in effort and give serious thoughts before voicing his opinions. WOW! I'm impressed and appreciate that! He actually drew me just to tell me how it'll look nicer.

Not bad, not bad. After this "buy dress dilemma" incident, I get to know my friends (guys and girls) better. And I learn so much about consumer behaviours. It will be extremely interesting if these guys are going to buy dresses (or just any gifts) for their girlfriends next time. And my conclusion is, opposite from what my previous perceptions are, guys are much harder to please. Want to buy or design something that will appeal to a guy's attention, you may want to consider how their minds work. Interesting.

Dress I Love

2010-01-05T22:49:00.002+08:00

My facebook status, my twitter, my IM message are all filled with my love for this dress. After getting opinions from my friends, most of them think it's worth to buy it. What do you think? I love dresses but this one really drives me crazy. It's like love at first sight and second and third and counting!

If you love someone, you would do aything for him or her right? If you love something, you would do anything for it right?

Oh, I think I have fallen in love with this dress! I'm going to keep it for the rest of my life!!!

Hello 2010!

2010-01-01T23:52:00.003+08:00

It's a brand new year again! How are you feeling? Different people may have different reactions and emotions about it. Many are excited, hopeful and joyous. Some may see it as another day. Well, I do see it just like any other day not because it's odinary but every day is so precious that each day should be celebrated! Every day, every hour, every minute, every moment is a bliss. That is our existence.
Hope your days are filled with bliss and joy too! Happy New Year :)

Poor Pinky

2009-11-19T15:55:00.006+08:00

Sometimes, I kind of dislike the feeling of going back home alone on the plane, especially when I have a total of maybe up to 30kgs or more, I don't know. I do, however, improve over the years or over time as I travel more frequently. I managed to bring only the necessary (because I just place two sets of things so that I don't havr to carry that much), reducing the number of baggages that I carry along with me. I am amazed how I used to be able to carry so many things with me. Some times, passer-bys even feel empathy they offer help to carry my bags. Still, I carry too many things with me. Like today, I checked in and found that my luggage was overweight for 2.2kgs. I used to be very good in estimating the weight of my luggage, I was almost consistently accurate but not today.

I was so clumpsy just now that I accidentally slammed my foot with my luggage. The luggage's officially got NO handles at all right now so it's been some trouble handling it. I had no idea what the poor thing went through from the check-in counter into the aircraft for the pass few trips. I think I travelled in no more than 20 times over the last 3 years. I thought I could use it until I graduate but sadly, it's really in a very user-unfriendly state. Maybe I have the responsibility of its current condition as I do not treat it gentle enough.

My luggage is pink. Don't ask me why, pink is not my favourite colour but that's the one that attracted my attention when I was given a couple of luggages to choose from. Somehow, it's great o recognise it because to date, I have not found anyone using the same lugagge hence, I need not worry about mistaking another person's for mine (since I'm such a Blur!). Now I'm thinking what colour I should get next?

I got plenty of time to think it over because the flight is delayed...AGAIN. I only have lees than 2 hours now due to the limited net surfing time. Well, will grab some time to check on Facebook now :D

My Signature Eyes

2009-11-15T16:31:00.003+08:00

This is copied exactly from Calista's blog entry.

Then we went to Pavilion to jalan-jalan, and as soon as we walked through the doors (n this made me feel like a star =D), 3 guys were walking towards us, when I heard "Eh, Maybelline Top 5!" and then "Bukanlah, Top 10". O.M.G. We were so messy as well, I cant believe we actually got recognized!! *Calista dances around just thinking about it*

Her experience reminds me of something. Lately I encounter people whom I don't seem to know looking and smiling at me. Being a kind and humble person (ahem, yes, I am!), I'll smile back without much thinking. Now, I know why. Thanks to Calista for reminding me. I think I forgot how BIG the media influence is! hahaha... Next time, I'm gooing to be extra careful of my image whenever I step out of my room, some more exam period means BIGGER panda eyes. But who knows people might mistake that as the newest trend in make-up, a.k.a. applying eyeshadow on the undereye...Smokey eyes are in during fall seasons, so yeah, not bad at all.

Randy Pausch

2009-11-10T21:25:00.005+08:00

Do you still remember what your childhood dreams are? Being someone great, living in a big house with all the coolest functions and futuristic technologies, driving a sports car which is greater than Batman's, going to space, having a wardrobe room, making some magic happen etc etc...

Well, I ashamed to say but, I have to refresh my memories on my childhood dreams because sometimes, I so "live" in reality that I neglected some of my childhood dreams. They are the "true dreams" because they are not what your parents want you to do, not what your teachers expect you to achieve nor what the society needs. They're purely what you hope for simply because you believe you'll be really happy to have realised them. I do have dreams now, but it's a different story. Those were like modified according to "pracitical-ability", "attainability", "social context suitability" and the list goes on. But in a dream, anything is possible. And the child, always dare to dream. Now, I'm going get my dreams back (from my long term memory).
And relist them. I'll realise them one by one before I get old and forget that I actually have all these dreams.

I will NOT sit here the whole day writing posts bout my childhood dreams because I am so inspired by this man that I tell myself, you have an assignment to be completed, and two more tests to sit for (reality's bell rings at me) so study hard, because there's a reason why you have to undergo all these although it may not be the most pleasurable things to be done. So, STOP PROCRASTINATING!

To cut it short, I've just added another idol to my list, Randy Pausch. A truly inspiring and great man who reminds me of what dreaming is about. I don't know how to describe with words, but all I can say is, thanks to YouTube, I get to watch such a great talk without being in the same place with him. Too bad, I'll never have the chance to watch him live, ever again...he passed away due to cancer, but he was surely an optimistic and energetic warrior!

OK, I have to go back to my studies (me watching YouTube the whole day is a hint how much I'm left behind my schedule but still, I think it's worth the time and I don't mind it being my exam week. Yea, you got it right, Facebook isn't my "in-est" thing now, YouTube is).

Need some inspiration? Get some here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf_H8CazRxk
That's the second one out of 11,it'll lead you to other episodes at the related videos. It will take more than an hour to finish all but still, like I say, you'll enjoy it, and learn something, for sure.
So, enjoy :)

Oh, before I forget, got some other inspiring stories from Cameron Diaz and Paul Holmes (this one being recommended by Clement, also a very good piece). Will be soon until I update again, not forgetting the queueing posts I promised myself. Till then.

Enjoy the journey... (and the music)

2009-11-07T17:12:00.004+08:00

LVMH is a conglomerate of luxury brands. What makes it different from other companies? Its values? Vision? Or something more realistic such as it products? Marketing strategies? I'm not going to talk much about the company or the brand. I look at it on a more personal level, it suggests a kind of lifestyle, and a beautiful philosophy.

I like the lines so much I had them copied down in my notebook. Very much like what I believe.

A journey is not a trip

it is not a vacation

It is a process. A discovery.

It's a process of Self-Discovery.

A journey brings us face to face with ourselves

A journey shows us not only the world,

but how we fit in it.

Does the person create the journey

or does the journey create the person?

The journey is life itself

Where will life take you?

"A journey is not a trip. It is not a vacation" but a trip or a vacation can be a journey. It is a process, a discovery...I just can't agree more. And these especially leave me to ponder: Do we create our journeys? Or...is it the journey that we take makes us who we are. The one that leaves the most impact would be the last. Shall we realise this "journey" is actually our lives, where do we allow it to take us to? How, would you want your journey to be?

Everyone may want different things in life. Different meanings and joy. Whatever it is, there's a value that we pun onto it. How we appreciate what we have is kind of wealth. Somehow, we tend to overlook what we have and how rich we actually are sometimes. Enjoying life, is acutally a luxury anyone can afford.

FOOD for study week

2009-11-01T15:19:00.011+08:00

I have done many things during my study week. Study week is usually the time when I relax but this semester, it's a mixture of many things. Normally, I'll treat myself with good food during study week. These are some of the important food I've taken to energise myself.

Essential food. I rushed for my assignmentS, can't get good grades without it;
Food for the Mind. I read books that I couldn't keep my hands off. Too bad they are not the type that relates to my exams but still enlightening;
A little alchohol in the Food. I went clubbing (I club like once or twice per semester the most and it falls in this week),will just let loose a bit;
Dessert. I watched a movie "Law Abiding Citizen", it's BRILLIANT! This movie is SO enjoyable that I highly recommend it (maybe a short review when I have time and hopefully it's while the movie is still shown in cinemas);
Food for personal growth. I participated in the international conference of Criminalise War organised by the Perdana Global Peace Foundation (gona blog bout this);
Food for the Skin. I attended Clarins "Power to Try" workshop organised by Miu, it was truly a skin pampering session because after so many sleep debts, I am actually so physically tired and I got to try out so many wonderful products to revitalze my skin especially the "Beauty Flash Balm"!

Nutrients keep the mind awake especially when I don't get enough rest. Nutritionists suggest that food of different colours provides us with different nutrients.
And I do eat more during study weeks. Need to supply the esentials so that the brain continues to function well. But, something's missing...

JUNKFOOD! Anything I do that is actually unproductive for a study week. Procrastinating on the internet, talking crap, lazing for extra 20minutes on the bed after a nap and things alike.

Oh ya, and where's my main course? Gona start studying real SOON!!!

I'll be Forever Fabulous;-)

2009-10-17T21:16:00.017+08:00

It’s been a GREAT time over the past two months. I have experienced a once in a lifetime opportunity as one of Maybelline New York’s Simply Fabulous top ten finalists. The programme doesn’t end on the night of the Grand Finale itself because all the things that I’ve learnt will be carried with me throughout my life. Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive! I really appreciate the faith and belief that you have in me. Although I wasn’t the person who won the title, I can still feel that I am Simply Fabulous in my very own way.

I really had fun that night and I can feel that I had really “unmasked” myself! I didn’t feel anxious, I wasn’t nervous and all I did was enjoying every moment that I had. I feel like I have given my best on that night throughout this whole competition and I have no regrets. Looking back, I don’t even take this as a failure. I simply see it as a platform whereby I see where my strengths and weaknesses are. Besides, being with the other fabulous people in the whole programme has really made me grow in many ways! I get feedback, constructive comments, tips, stories and many more. This is simply an awesomely invaluable experience!
Like what I’ve always believed in, this is a continuous journey. The end of the programme does not mark the end of being a Fabulous person. I have realized so much… I am still proud of myself for being who I really am.

I am simple yet sophisticated.
I can be quiet but also LOUD.
I am down to earth but it doesn’t mean I can’t fly high.

I may not be a pro in MODELLING, but I believe I can be a ROLE MODEL of others.
When it comes to learning, there are no limits or boundaries for me. I’ll move on in my journey to pursue my dreams!

I’ll be positive all the way, I’ll be strong and humble. I’ll never stop upgrading myself in becoming a better person and will not forget about my philosophy to be a whole-rounded person. I hope to inspire people no matter where I am and touch people’s hearts. I’ll keep dreaming BIG. Frankly speaking, my dream is not to be a counselor only, my dream is MORE THAN THAT. That is one of the goals, I will reach. Other than that, I hope to bring more colours into others’ lives. To bring hope, to bring awareness, to nurture, and to help others grow.
This is part of my transformation. Still, I am so glad that you are all the witnesses of my transformation. I am sincerely grateful. I’ll not take whatever I have for granted. Once again, thank you. I hope everyone of you are doing well too!

Shall end this post with some pics of the night ;-)

Our gorgeous hosts. Henry Golding and Sarah Lian.

The QnA session. I was the second to come up.

Meet the judges. Kimberly from senior makeup artist and trainer from Maybelline NY, celebrity, Sazzy Falak; celebrity stylist and creative consultant, StevenSunny & Abhi from McCann.

Some bloggers described me as one of the quieter ones...well, I think I've justified myself. That's a part of me that was not shown in the webisodes, hehe...

Ready to rock the world!

Catwalking for Levi's new collection.

Ten of us. Calista voted by bloggers as Miss Superb Confidence and Diana voted by customers of Watsons as the face of So Gorgeous.

The long awaited moment...announcement of the title, Miss Simply Fabulous...NALINDER!

But we all are winners in some ways. Taken at the press conference.

Off stage with Hyma and Elensha. Thanks to all of you who have come to support me that night! Also not to forget those who couldn't come but still support me mentally :)

Some SS pics hoho...

Nothing's better than having a great meal with a good bunch of buddies after an entire night of event! Need to refill the energy used.

Credits are given to the photographers who own the rights of the pictures in this post. More photoes at my Facebook profile. Apologies for mistakes that I may have made in the details mentioned above.

Most importantly, don't forget to catch the show on 18/10(Sunday), 10pm at 8tv! An exclusive interview with the winner Nalin available at 8tv Quickie right after the show!

I am SIMPLY FABULOUS

2009-10-04T11:24:00.012+08:00

This post is all about me in Maybelline New York Simply Fabulous and links related to it. For people who know me well, I am a low key person most of the time. I speak only when I think I should or when I feel it's appropriate and NOW, it's the time to share with you!

Here goes:
1. What is Maybelline New York Simply Fabulous?
It is an online reality program by 8TV, sponsored by Maybelline New York, in search for Malaysia’s most Simply Fabulous who has the dream, personality, confidence and all! Winner walks away with RM10, 000 cash and a trip to New York City which includes VIP passes to the Spring 2010 New York Fashion Week!

2. What is your dream/ ambition?
My dream is to be a whole-rounded person in life, live life to the fullest and to leave positive impact in other’s lives. I hope to be an expert in the help profession and to help others to discover their potentials too!
Yeah, if you have been reading this blog, you will have the clue that I am a counseling student, and I have BIG ambition, I want to go beyond being a good counsellor, I hope to do something more than that.

3. Why did you join this competition?
I joined this competition because I want to experience something new and different. I was attracted to the prize that is to win RM10,000 and a free trip to New York especially the New York Fashion Week which is exclusive. I’d really love to visit NY because it’s a city of Liberty and I’ve always dreamed of going to the states to live my ‘American Dream’. I have not been out of the country before, not even to Singapore! So, I hope I can win to be on my way to overseas and open up my eyes! And of course, I’m doing all these because I want to discover my potential which I have overlooked all these while. Like Maybelline’s tagline, “maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline”. Maybe I’m born with it!so here I am to discover the ‘IT’ element in me!
This is honest confession. Not been out of the country (don't even own a passport now...); YES, the attractive prizes Catches my attention! ; Discovering my own potential. Well, it's not convincing if I want to help others to discover their potential if I only talk about but no actions taken.

4. Where do I get more information?

Exclusive posts from friends :)
CurryEgg (Kelly Tan) of CurryEgg's Spicy Lounge- It's gettin' Hot Hot!
http://curryegg.blogspot.com/2009/09/maybelline-cocktail-party.html

Miu (Tammy) of Plus Size Kitten- The Life of a Plus Size Girl in a Zero Size World
http://plusizekitten.blogspot.com/2009/09/maybellines-simply-fabulous-party.html

Owen Lim of Expressively Talkative
http://osweld.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/this-is-just-simply-fabulous/

Posts from The Fabulous Girls
Sarah Lian, Host of the Show!
http://www.sarah-lian.com/blog/2009/09/15/maybellines-simply-fabulous-is-out/

Calista of Against The Odds- Tiny girl with a big voice, n big dreams
http://petitemodel87.blogspot.com/

Nalinder of .Behind The Scenes. - A peek into the life of an oxymoron
http://rednilan.blogspot.com/

Steffanie of Little Dreamer
http://steffyxoxovanessa.blogspot.com/

Posts from Bloggers (Do check out their blogs because some are giving away Gifts from Maybelline NY and passes to the Grand Finale!)
Beetrice's Reviews
http://www.beetricesreviews.com/2009/09/sneak-peek-maybelline-new-york-simply.html
http://www.beetricesreviews.com/2009/09/maybelline-simply-fabulous-giveaway.html

Erin Wong of I Call it Art- Its the Complete Package that Matters
http://youcallitmakeup.blogspot.com/2009/08/maybelline-ny-8tv-simply-fabulous.htmlbulous.html bulous.html

Emeryn of Emeryn.com- Where Passion Begins
http://emeryn.com/2009/09/03/maybelline-new-york-simply-fabulous/

Jessica Tan(Benjicajess) of Extractions of a Disoriented Mind
http://www.benjicajess.com/2009/09/maybelline-ny-simply-fabulous.html

Pink Pork Chop
http://pinkporkchop.blogspot.com/2009/09/maybelline-ny-simply-fabulous.html

Xin of Pretty Beautiful
http://prettybeautiful.net/the-sneak-peek-of-maybelline-simply-fabulous-contest/
http://prettybeautiful.net/giveaway-watch-maybelline-simply-fabulous-and-win-awesome-goodies-and-passes/e-goodies-and-passes/

Press:
News Straits Times
http://www.nst.com.my/articles/12avbbb3-2/Article/index_html (THIS ONE HAS A SHORT INTERVIEW OF MINE :D )
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/articles/20090917184112/Article/index_html

The Star- All The Rage
http://rage.com.my/writeups/story.asp?file=/2009/9/16/happenings/20090915173121&sec=happenings

Voize
http://voize.my/arts-culture/10-contestants-1-winner-1-step-to-stardom

http://www.myfew.net/2009/09/12/maybelline-new-york-simply-fabulous.html

I may miss out some but I've tried my best to get as many as possible.
After so many links, perhaps some pictures to ease your eyes?

Some function...

Some pics...

The Ten GIrls

Me :)

Profile pic! (yeah, in case you can't recognise me, like what Sarah told me "I could only recognise you by your dimple" some more you can't see my dimple in this pic) ^^" swt...

Voting starts on 5/10 till 17/10 on www.8tv.com.my/simplyfabulous
Don't hesitate to leave comments, will love to hear from you :)
Owen created a page for me at Facebook, so if you have an account, would love to have you join it too!
http://www.facebook.com/nbshan?v=info&ref=profile#/pages/Ng-Bei-Shan-Maybelline-Simply-Fabulous-Top-10-Finalist/170034508241?ref=sgm

Thanks :)
Will update again :)

Secret Recipe REVEALED

2009-09-26T21:26:00.003+08:00

After a whole week of outside food (i.e. not college food), I decided to stay in and cook something for myself and just rest and relax. I know it's a beautiful Saturday night, I could have done something else but am really tired after the 15 hour long meeting yesterday.
I slept the whole evening waking up feeling lazy and nothing else but lazy. I turned on my laptop and chatted with friends and my cousin. Still not hungry until I decided to find some food for myself. Will just cook instant noodles, I thought. Well, not "cooking" to be precise cause there's no kitchen in my hostel room.
Anyway, I opened the packet, put the noodle into the hot water and then realised that there's no soup base powder in it! @&($&^*(@?
Well, I would not open another packet cause that's going to be too much of noodles.
Solution?
I checked my cupboard and discovered my saviour!
INSTANT MUSHROOM SOUP! On top of that, I added in spicy crunchy seaweed!
Results? Springy noodles accompanied by a smooth soup with tiny chunks of mushroom and a pleasant smell. Crunchy spicy seaweed that exhilarate my sense of tasting. Yum yum...
It may not be the most delicious food on earth but...it is definitely a new recipe, like what YS said, "cool"...a piece of art from a desperate mind and a hungry stomach.
Too bad I can't get this recipe patented.

Miu is giving back AGAIN!

2009-09-26T13:36:00.004+08:00

One of my favourite beauty bloggers, Miu is treating her followers AGAIN! She's inviting her followers to a workshop, FOC! So, if you have been following her blog, please register NOW! QUICK!!! By the way, it's never too late to check out her blog because she always give surprises to her readers. Her website is http://plusizekitten.blogspot.com/ or you may find the link in the list of blogs that I enjoy.

So now, the important details of the workshop:

Clarins Power To Try Workshop
Venue: Clarins training Centre, Amoda Building, KL.(opposite Berjaya Times Square, behind Lowyat)
Date: 31st Oct, 09 (Saturday)
Sessions:Morning: 10.30am - 1.30pm 15 pax AfterNoon: 2.00pm - 5.00pm 15 pax
Workshop Fee: FOC & only by invitation to Plusizekitten followers
F & B : not included
Doorgifts: Yes + Complimentary makeover/Eyebrow Trimming + 50% discount on 1st Time Trial Facial Treament (only at KLCC Isetan Clarins).
Learning: Skincare + Easy Make Up Touch Up "Clarin's Magic".

Sharing is caring. If you love this, please tell others ;)

13/09/09 *****

2009-09-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

I feel so content today! I think I've treated my "inner child" well today. The past three days has been wonderful because I've spent time with members of CCC at the Pangkor trip. I feel revived when I played at the beach! The sand...the water...the waves...the sky...the sun...not to forget the laughters!

Today, I ran in the rain on the wet sands. I feel so great to be able to be sooooooooooo carefree again. At night, I attended a talk. I'll like to share a few insights I gained.

We all have something in common although we may have different goals and dreams in life. Although everyone is unique, our ultimate goal is to be happy. Think about all the things that we want or wish for. We want it because it makes us happy, isn't it so? And happiness is not just a goal, it's an on going process. One unhappy incident in life won't make a person unhappy forever because happiness can be accumulated.
We may also relate happiness with success. Which would you think is more important? While little successes in life may make us happy, some people who are successful in certain aspects are not happy people.
The speaker thinks that a sucessful person is a person who succeeds in every major components of his/her life.Life won't be complete if we only excel in certain parts right? May it be career, power, status, money, love, family, relationships, health, youth, or beauty. And a balance in life is so essential. I am glad I have realised this a long time ago. It's just that I am still working towards it. Perhaps it is the obastacles that I have encountered along the way which makes me negative sometimes. That's where the incongruence comes about.

Success is also something which needs to be recognised by others. Self-claiming success is not real success. So, that means it is something that everyone else agrees upon. Let's just put it as a word which we don't use to describe ourselves unless the recognition is so well no one will disagree.

Also, an achievement is much more valuable if it were to be shared with others. I am very lucky because I meet many people who are nice. Nice because they share a lot with me. Perhaps nice is too general a term, I should say, they have big hearts and beautiful personalities. I think I meet too many good people in life and I am truly grateful for that. And of course, I would like to acknowledge every one but the list will be too long. Some are even strangers. From all the personal experiences that I have gained so far, people are nice in general. That's why I can trust people easily. Sometimes the problem is not with the PERSON, it's only with the one particular behaviour, decision, thought, habit or maybe intention. And the problem not necessarily occurs continuously so it is quite unfair sometimes that we label people. Maybe we should only label the faulty thought or behaviour or speech or habit or intention. As a normal person, who doesn't make mistakes anyway?

So, let the past be the past. As long as you've tried hard enough, there shouldn't be anything to feel regret over. We're all responsible for our lives and the choices that we make to shape us into who we are today.

And if I substitute all the pronouns above to "I" and "my", my previous self-conflicts will eventually be resolved. This post sounds so random, just like the previous post. But after typing out the whole thing. I think I am much clearer about my priority now *tink* (enlightened) hohoho

090909 ***

2009-09-10T00:12:00.003+08:00

Today, I'm not feeling very happy. I'm not sad either. I just felt lost. Like what Ms Nicole said last week during group counselling, I have been disconnected with myself. I wonder what my problem was.
Last week's session was to talk to our "Inner Child", the child inside us whom we sometimes neglect. Today, class is supposed to be continuing on this activity but I had to skip class because of Maybelline Simply Fabulous' Press Conference.

I revisited my past just a few moments ago. I have not been keeping a diary since 13. Luckily I have this blog. I look back to the earliest posts and realised that my decision to continue this blog is right. I have changed over the years, in fact a lot. I look back, and I see a happy child. I look at myself, and I see...ME. I still enjoy all the little things in life but why do I get tired sometimes?

I think I need to be more sincere with my own feelings. I remember the ad that I did for a previous challenge. I know what I have to do it's just that I need some courage. Sometimes I still wonder, do people sacrifice one thing for another? I think I'll need to find out.

Today, I'll just be a child. I'll ask myself silly questions and let Christina Aguilera's song play in my head "Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me, when will my reflection show, who I am inside...."

A child doesn't care about what others say. She just act whatever she likes. Today, I write about whatever I like. I'll just be a child for tonight. I know I have been tough for some time. I need a break, too, just like any others. Today, I talked to my mum. It's her birthday and I'm so sorry I didn't make it home in Aug because I stayed here for the contest. I initially thought I was selfish but after talking to my mum, I still feel that I can always be a child, that there is always someone to take care of me although from far.

YaYa just mentioned not long ago in FB that she does not like being called "tough". I believe her comments were flooded by many other tough girls. My comment sounds something like this: "Being tough is a credit but being yourself is your asset". A credit is given by people, mostly but an asset is something you own. Something given by people can be taken away but something that is yours is yours, unless they snatch it from you. Now I'm starting to wonder if I was borned tough or is it that I learn to be tough? Or worse, I try to be tough but fail miserably?

So, I decided. I'll just be whoever I am. Tough when I am able to be tough. Strong when I need to be strong. Weak when I'm tumbling down and if it matters, stand up even when I fall (with an embarassed smile some more).

It's silly of me sometimes I also behave like a child in front my friends, especially close friends but I know they don't mind ;-) Today, there's no "da jie" (the big sister who ensures others that things will be fine), only a child, who's seeking for equilibrium and her "disconnected self".

Mid Sem Break is OVER

2009-08-23T23:33:00.003+08:00

This is freaking me out! I can't believe that one week passes by sooo quickly? What have I done over the week? Lazing around. Not very productive. Great, now I have accumulated so many assignments and work to do. Just a bit of update, today is the last day for Maybelline Simply Fabulous' shooting. Grand finale will be in Oct. I am really exhausted because I just reached college from Sri Pentas not long ago. Thanks to Syifa who accompanied me in the LRT, Joyce who sent us to the LRT station and also Suzie who offered us a ride but tak jadi because we just brought too many stuff! haha...I have a BIG luggage with broken handles. And I had a great time pulling that from the bus station to college and finally my room. I feel so reluctant to unpack all my things. And now, I'm sitting here Facebooking and blogging. I'm so out of my mind :p
I'm looking forward for the coming holiday so that I have more time to laze around haha :D

唯獨你是不可取替 in sentimental mode tonight...

2009-08-11T21:27:00.005+08:00

I found this song from another blogger's page and immediately fall in love with this song by Sammi Cheng featuring Andy Hui. I feel so sentimental tonight. How long has it been since I listen to such a song? Hmm...must be quite a long time ago. I really feel like singing out this song LOUDLY! Too bad I might interrupt my room mates who are doing their own things...I wonder when will there be an alone moment for me so that I can sing as I like...(since I am sharing room with 7 other girls now, sigh~) So, I decided to ask my room mate to tolerate me for a while...just a moment to let me sing the chorus.

曾聽說有許多戀愛沒有結果卻剩傷心者感慨
令我都刻意避開是我不敢相信真愛
但你不惜真心真意對待竟令我再感到意外
讓我獻出全部熱愛全面喝采
如果今天將失去眼前的一切
剩低清風兩袖也不計
唯獨你一個是不可給取替
是我生命裡的一切 Woo.....

如早知今生跟你有幸可相愛
在當初應更努力為未來
其實我知道是可一不可再
下半生准我留住你一直相愛
誰似你這般欣賞我誰也說不上你一般清楚我
問我可需要甚麼願你終生交托給我
讓我一生好好把你照料請讓我體恤你需要
讓我獻出全部熱愛從來沒缺少

如果今天將失去眼前的一切
剩低清風兩袖也不計
唯獨你一個是不可給取替
是我生命裡的一切 Woo.....
如早知今生跟你有幸可相愛
在當初應更努力為未來
其實我知道是可一不可再
下半生准我留住你一直相愛

Luckily my room mates went out for a while so I got to sing OUT LOUD...hahahaha. What a relief~
Suddenly feel like I can see the stars in the sky, what a lovely song~ Listen to the piano, I just can't resist the tune that I keep on replaying this song. I must have been too rational for so long, feels good to be a little emotional again : ) I guess I'm touched by this song.

Review on Tenji

2009-08-03T22:28:00.005+08:00

Before I forget to blog about one of the things I want to do this semester, let me present my experience eating out at Tenji restaurant. Since don't know when, I fell in love with Japanese food so I would like to explore more Japanese cuisine restaurants which are affordable.
I can't help but to make a bit of comparision. I prefer to eat at Tenji compared to Jogoya because the time they allow us to eat in is longer. The place is more spacious, lighting is just nice. In short, atmospehere is better. Food is being refilled quite frequently too for example, oysters and coconuts. As there was no need to rush, all the food tasted great except for snails. They have flower/fruit tea too but don't serve wine (which I don't mind since wine served at Jogoya was "diluted"). Food variety should be more or less about the same (for lunch). Too bad the desserts were not as good.
Overall, good value for the price since promotional price was much cheaper.
For pictures, please go to my facebook. And sorry, I don't know how to make that "click-here and pop, comes the pictures" thingy happen.

I can be crazy sometimes...(sounds like I'm answering my previous post)

2009-08-03T19:44:00.008+08:00

Just as some people think I'm too rational sometimes, I surprise people by doing things they don't expect. Well, touring around is not something too outrageous anymore. Just walked from the KL convention centre to Time Square last Friday (pictures available in my Facebook album). It's not very near for those who are not used to walking and especially when your on heels but if your wearing a pair of comfortable shoes, that's ok.

Flashback of what I've posted as my semester resolution. The easiest one is DONE

1. Enjoy life--so far enjoying
2. Trip to Penang or Melaka--not quite possible in this few months, yet
3. Have a meal at Tenji--DONE
4. Remain in the dean’s list--some time to go
5. Join Mensa--not very likely within this two months according to my schedule
6. Meditate more--joined a short meditation course 2 weeks ago,need more practice
7. Jog/do some sports at least thrice a week for at least half an hour--trying to follow
8. Buy myself a decent wallet and bag,best if they match--have not checked them out
9. Fight chapped lips and fatigue--slept in class for 10 minutes (just show how tired I am)
10. Produce at least one academic article--hmm...I need inspiration
11. Read more books--Oh dear, why is this here at the first place?
12. Buy myself a decent camera--Didn't know which 1 to buy coz there were too many
13. Be a nice senior--hmm...subject to juniors.May have to do survey to know

So,

What's next?

I'm currently joining Simply Fabulous organised by Maybelline NY and 8TV. It's an online reality show. And I just knew that I managed to get into the top ten! WooHoo~

Ok, calm down. The idea of joining a reality show popped up in my mind some years a ago (when I was in secondary school when reality shows were fresh and hot) but I can't believe I'm now actually DOING it. I don't know what will happen next. I'll just do my best and have fun~

The first step. It all started because I want freebies and a free makeover. I was even late for class because of this. End up no freebies because I went a bit late but at least walked back with a nice picture (not this one, it's printed but I don't have a scanner to scan it).

Second step. Audition/ interview or whatever you call it at Sri Pentas. Had dinner at One Utama after that.

My agent cum image consultant cum make-up artist cum bodyguard sum assistant. The person who gives me great advice and really wants me to win. She not only said it, she helped me to look good, be presentable and even accompanied me to the TV station although she was also busy that day. I'm so so so glad I have such a supportive friend. I couldn't have stepped out at the first place if she hadn't told me about the roadshow in campus. Thanks a million, billion, trillion and zillion, June!

And also thanks to everyone who has been so supportive like Poh Fen who called me when I was at the audition. You guys give me this aspiration to win! (Gosh, I'm sounding like I've won already...kekeke)

They say I'm Crazy?

2009-07-28T22:59:00.004+08:00

Watched the movie "A Beautiful Mind" today during abnormal pychology class although I have seen it before. If you have not heard of it, it's based on a true story, a Nobel Laurette specializing in Mathematics and Economics named John Nash who suffers from schizophrenia. It makes me want to understand more about what general public perceives about people who are "abnormal" because some of them are exceptionally talented in certain fields. It has always been hard to define, to draw a line to part sanity from insanity. We avoid using negative words because we don't want to impose stigma to people whom we think are different from us. In this more individualistic era (although we still live in a collective society), we are trying to be different by enforcing a sense of self, style, uniqueness etc. But have we not forget just as every other person is just as unique, we don't have the right to discriminate others (in this context, people whom we call "crazy"). I mean, they didn't ask for it either.

Sometimes, it really is the mind, a thought even though just for a second. I'm sure many of us have asked ourselves "Is it normal if I think/behave like this?" or "Am I out of my mind?". Hence, we build walls, we start to have our secrets, maybe secrets which we would not share with others (just because we don't want others to have stigma on us). While only one thought or one behaviour maybe "too unique", it's doesn't mean the person is simply "problematic". We'll have to look into the extend and frequency of the thought or behaviour not to forget the context the person is in.

Thanks to our immune system, we may recover soon after some time. Others may be less fortunate as the degree of recovery differs from one to another. Bear in mind that all these "mental disorders" that we've known are accumulated over a certain period of time. You don't catch it just like you would catch a flu. Once it gets serious, it may be very hard to cure. Hence prevention is better than cure. Seek help when you need to, seriously (and this is not intended for any publicity purposes). Trust me, if mental disorders can be as infectious as influenza A (H1N1), the hazard it brings will be much much much complicated. Quarantine will not be helpful because it's hard to control thoughts and behaviors. Moreover, psychiatric treatments are expensive and extensive. Recovery in a week is 99% negative.

It is, a pity that many people do not realise that what the problems they have. Most people always think I HAVE NO PROBLEMS. Is that possible? The possibility is, you may not see it as a problem while others may. Sometimes, we may be so used to the way to think or act that we don't see the flaws in ourselves. But when it comes to others, we're really good at spotting their weaknesses. When was the last time you did this?

Well, I just did it this morning. I woke up and realised that the toilet in my floor was "flooded" with dirty water. Must be some problematic girls who don't have the courtesy to keep the public place clean resulting in blockage AGAIN. She/They do whatever's convenient for them and ignore others' rights to enjoy a clean toilet. So they throw things in whichever place they like leaving others to feel gross about the end result/to clean up for them (I'm the one who usually file complaints to the office while some other floor mates could have just pretended nothing happened). While people may think that "crazy" people brings troubles to the "normal" people, some who think they're equally "normal" can also create hassles for others.
Is this considered a problem/faulty behavior? You decide.

suddenly, I'm thinking of this question...

2009-07-28T01:45:00.001+08:00

Is Love Free?

Perception...

2009-07-23T16:19:00.010+08:00

Alright, this a very serious. Mind your perception. What is perception? It is one of the components that forms concepts in short. Although abstract, we're using it everyday. With perception, the speed of us making decisions can be much faster. Our senses are pretty much facilitated by our perception such as distance judging. For example, when you hold on to something hot you sense the heat. And the next time you see the same thing again, your mind tells you "Careful, HOT". In other words, it helps us to relate. Another example, when you see a red heart, you may relate it to love.

But, that's not what I'm trying to say here.

What I'm saying is that, even after 46 years Sarawak joined the Federal of Malaya, some people (West Malaysians) still have this perception that East Malaysia is a very very very very very (need I add in some more "very"s?) underdeveloped place. The most often heard one would be, "People there still live on trees ar?" The truth is, even though we really have many virgin forests, we have many tribes, but most of the tribes are now opened to education etc. Ok, if you think that some of the Bumis still live in Longhouses, yes, they do. And NO, I have not known anyone who lives on a tree in Sarawak yet.

And like I said, this live on tree topic is already too "outdated" and I believe since now "Everyone can fly" and fly to Sarawak, this myth should have been justified. The more interesting one that I hear today is...a West Malaysian asked a Sarawakian, "Are you used to wearing shoes here?"

Well, this question is not pointed to me obviously. And luckily it wasn't or else that person could have tasted my shoes! Come on, this is so TOTALLY ridiculous!!! Who says Sarawakians don't wear shoes? I know I'm overreacting but I can't accept it unless the logic is,

Premise 1. Sarawakians live on trees.

Premise 2. Sarawakians need to climb trees.

Premise 3. Wearing shoes makes it hard for us to climb trees.

Conclusion: Sarawakians are not used to wearing shoes.

I don't know what was portrayed in our Geography textbooks or what the Geo teacher has taught this innocent child (anyway, I just hear the story and I don't even know who this person is) but that is really an assault to all the shoestores, department stores and even hypermalls that sell shoes in Sarawak, not to forget the millions of people who wear shoes in Sarawak. Let me clarify myself. I have been wearing shoes since I was two. Too bad I don't have the photo with me now. But I have a more recent one and it was taken in Bau, Sarawak.

These (circled in red) are not shoes. These are sandals and yes, that's very weird because how come a community which does not wear shoes is able to differentiate between shoes and sandals?

Ok, perhaps this picture is more familiar to those who have not been to Sarawak. Ibans in their traditional costumes is widely portrayed in most Geography books, or advertisements. Largely, that's what shapes the perception. But in this picture, all the girls are in sandals or slippers.

Also, note that our roads are tarred! Other than that, no need for me to explain on the buildings/infrastructures etc. The internet is soooo convenient these days that anyone can find info about Sarawak or Sabah at the tip of fingers.

See? It's good to learn more. Be humble, like this uncle :)

I need to sleep on time!!!

2009-07-20T01:36:00.002+08:00

I should be sleeping now, seriously...what's wrong with my biological clock?
Argh...

The Bike Trip to Damansara

2009-07-15T20:08:00.045+08:00

Went to Damansara with Poh Fen last Saturday. It was a wonderful experience. Will have the pictures do the description.
Firstly, we had dinner at Ikea.

Self-service but I was honoured to have been served by Poh Fen :p

A Must Eat! NICE NICE NICE!!!

It's the beef ball with chips. The sauce taste super great! And this is the first time I eat french fries with strawberry jam. I thought it would be wierd but NO...it tasted perfectly delicious. Btw, you get 5 beefballs with chips for RM5, 10 for RM 10. Hence, if you'd like more chips, may order 2 plates of 5 beefballs. 10 is just nice for dinner.

Smoked salmons. Looks better than its taste. RM 15.90. We wish it had more sauce. And yes, I agree with Poh Fen, salmon tastes better in Japanese restaurants in the form of sashimi :)

After dinner, we stroll around because we had nothing better to do. Some cute soft toys. They can be weird (can't tell what animals they are).

This one can make a good bolster. It's long.

Haha...funny creature.

Poh Fen loves this one. Erm...I think it needs anti-aging cream to clear away its wrinkles though.

Kids' corner. This boy is really cute. :)

This girl acting cute... I love this teddy bear which costs RM300++

Acting cute again?

Oh, I just love those pinkish bedrooms. Match with my cardigan so well that I feel like the room was mine at instance. I decided to take the picture to make it mine forever....ah~

This one is even pink-ER! I like!!!

I think my future room shall look something similar to this. Simple and sweet (and has to be spacious to store my stuff).

The room Poh Fen like most. It's a little more "masculine" due to it's simplicity.

Erm...no idea what this is. Just some toy I guess or maybe decoration.

A clean and comfortable kitchen. Like the waterlilies a lot.

It's claimed that Ikea's furniture are durable. For the chair, it can be seated 30 times per day and lasts for at least ten years. Sounds like a good investment.

Saw this as I exit. I doubt that as they can't count me in. I mean no matter how nicely designed the cupboards are, I can still be very DISORGANISED.

Outside the building. I'd love to have this in my garden some day.

Nice set up.

I want this in my balcony where I can sit there and look up into the sky and sipping a cup of hot drink while listening to some soft music. I think I need a BIG balcony when I have my own house...hahaha.

After that, we discovered this. WooHoo~ no image la...no one looking pun...

I become a "bulb". Alright, I forgot how old I was...Seriously, sometimes I still thought I'm still 21. I lose count of my age occasionally. That's how bad my Maths is.

My tauke nio. The Hot girl who rides motorcycle and brings me to makan angin :D And did I mention? This is the highlight of this whole post!

Our next desitination after Bandar Utama, Mont Kiara... Tada~Solaris! Well, something stupid occured here. While this area is mainly for the higher-income groups (who are unlikely to ride motorcycles most probably), we (2 adventurous, currently-don't-have-car-in-KL girls) were having some problems looking for a place to park the vehicle. Takkanlah park next to the Porche or Ferrari?

Just then, we spot a place where there were several motorcycles. Wah, we were so happy but couldn't find a way up cause it was on a pedestrian. Poh Fen then drove around to figure how to park at that place. Suddenly, she reversed and exclaimed, "I saw the slope to get up already!" Wow, I was also very happy because we can finally park the motorcycle and then start exploring the place! So, we went up...rode by and passed TEN shoplots and also several passerbys until we reach the parking site and realised that there was another slope near that parking place.

-_-" sweat, and embarassed (after riding on the pedestrian from one end to the other) because customers from one of the restaurants looked at us, puzzled.

Ah well, nevermind about the stupidity. We found the place...TENJI!!! The place we're going to have our lunch on 31st of July!!! Hooray~ *forgets the embarassing incident that just occured*

Nice view over there actually. Ideal for couples too.

I kind of like this but the lights somehow doesn't allow me to take a nice picture with it.

Looks like a romantic cafe. Has a very sentimental atmosphere.

I like the signboard.

Wall of one restaurant.

After that, we toured few other places such as Sri Hartamas,Bukit Damansara, got lost in some places which we have no idea where and finally Bangsar and back to UM. I really enjoyed the ride at night because there were so few cars and I got to look at people driving with a clearer view. Spot some handsome drivers too :D Poh Fen wanted to faint when I told her that LOL~ ok, maybe they pass by so quickly that I perceive so many of them as "handsome".

Also, people look at us too. They may find female motorcyclists rare I guess. And this is so far the longest trip I have on a motorcycle. I think the record will only be broken if we ride to Melaka...hohoho. In fact, this marks one of my wackiest experiences in UM. I couldn't help but to smile non-stop because I was over-excited in spite of me I bumping along with the motorcycle several times as I didn't hold on tight and that the helmet I wore was actually too big for me, lucky that I didn't fly off...what a night!

An odd hangout place of mine

2009-07-10T11:50:00.008+08:00

Just a few days ago, I was complaining about all the bad luck I was experiencing. Besides the crowded room, I was chosen as the floor rep without my consent. Then, I went to the library to borrow some academic books but the system was down so we were only allowed to borrow 2 books. That made me look like a fool when I carried the whole big pile of books to the counter and was laughed by the librarian. Great, not like I was informed.
This morning I went again and the system recovered! I was so happy that I couldn't stop giggling. Happy because I get to borrow MORE books...yeah~

It's not just about borrowing books from the library, I like to hang out in the library for no reason. Perhaps I like its clamness and quietness (although it can be spoilt by some users who apparently do not know about the etiquettes of using a library sometimes). If I'm really lucky enough, I still get to spot some handsome guys :D Well, I don't think I've come across any handsome guys in my faculty, unless they're passerbys (that's why so happy). But that's one of the small small attractions only. What do I do in the library? Read newspapers, journals, looking up for books and sometimes only. I don't do revision there because during study week it's too crowded. I like it when it's quiet and spacious.

One of the things I do. Lazy to copy, so just snap the pages I want.

I think I have fallen in love with the library, for no reason. Perhaps I like the smell of the books?Sniff sniff and I might be wiser, haha! Or maybe the books in UM's library can be so old they sometimes look like mysterious treasure to me. I don't know. Usually I borrow many books, the maximum is ten and I put good use to it. The part where I have to carry all the books back to college can be quite challenging because they're really heavy, maybe up to 6 kilograms (or more). I have spoiled a few bags due to that. You may think I'm really hardworking and book-loving, do you? Erm...I probably enjoy the process of finding out the books and sit on the library floor and carrying that big pile back from the library more interesting. I barely have the time to finish all the books. I've been spending more than half of my time in Uni joining activities and attending meetings. Other than that, I go out to relax (shop and eat).

Sitting on the floor between racks of books, taking down the call number of the book.

Nevermind if I cannot finish all these books, I can just read the summary :D and some times I regret not being able to finish the books until exam's over. How to pass exams without reading books? Erm...selective reading+ common sense+ being attentive in class?

The shell featured in this picture is REAL. The one printed on the cover of the book looks like its reflection, doesn't it? And that's what I do with the books. Not only are they readable, they're multi-purpose.

It's weird I don't have any pictures of the library since I like it so much. This pic is stolen from the official website. It's too small though. I used to have a pic of its interior which is smokey. I suspect part of it was on fire. Where's that photo?

Well, this is the only one I can find. Even that, the library becomes the background.

Revising a bit of Chemistry

2009-07-09T22:12:00.003+08:00

I'm so happy with the wifi here that I forget about bathing...Oops...
That reminds me of my body shampoo. I used it this afternoon to wash my container (which I use to store my lunch). My current room mate thinks that's very irrelevant (and absurd) but I disagree because they're both soaps. My logic: body shampoos SHOULD be better than dish washing liquids because they're composed of higher quality chemicals so that they're not too harsh on skins. Besides, there are vit. A, E etc and even have moisturising or lightening effect and smells better too!
Can anyone give me an answer or a justification? I need something more scientific.

Sodium laureth sulfate, or sodium lauryl ether sulfate (SLES), is a detergent and surfactant found in many personal care products (soaps, shampoos, toothpaste etc.). It is an inexpensive and very effective foaming agent.[1]
Extracted from Wikipedia. It has an alkyl group which attract to oily matters and a hydrophillic head which attracts water. When rinsed with lots of water, the water insoluble substances will be washed off. That's how the cleansing works. I hope I'm not wrong. Haven't been reading on Chemistry for 3 years plus.

So, SLES can be found in many cleansing products which creates foam. That means these two chemical products share the same ingredient but maybe of different composition and additives. Since dishwashing liquids are sold at a much lower price compared to body shampoo, cost of the chemical content should be more economic and effective too (to wash away stubborn stains). That makes sense now? Although it still sound stupid for that friend who's doing chemistry. But it's ok for me to sound stupid here simply because I'm not a Chemistry student and I don't have a bottle of dishwashing liquid with me right now so I can't really compare the content of both (I like to read the ingredients of daily products when I'm free. We're using so much chemicals each day). I left mine (a big bottle) in the room last semester and my ex-room mate is keeping it for me. I'll get it back tomorrow. Yeah!

Trickiness of picking a nickname

2009-07-08T11:07:00.004+08:00

Last night I was eating with Xin Min, Louise and Tong Tong. Xin Min happened to be the "pemantu Mahasiswa" for the freshie's orientation week so she updated me on the on and offs in college. She said there's this guy who introduced himself as Teo Teo (his surname). That's way too cute a name for a guy! As I was facebooking with Poh Fen just now, I realise that my id appears as Ng. Normally, I won't introduce myself as Ng. I usually call myself Shan for short. Then, I ter-thought of this Teo Teo... imagine if I'm Ng Ng......

After that, putting things aside...

2009-07-07T22:04:00.004+08:00

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OWEN!!!

Just happen that I get to blog after such a long time and my trip Sabah and what a coincidence it's Owen's birthday. I am a little free tonight, so free that I read Kenny Sia's blog. I'm not his fan but read it like not more than 5 times in a year? Some of his fans are surely quite devoted, they almost write an essay in their comments.
That's the free time part.
Lecture started on Monday. Got assignments flowing in already. What am I going to do this semester. Feel so free, yet so busy, a mixture of complicated feelings. I feel like I'm younger? haha...less responsibilties? Oh yeah~ Let the 2nd year students do all the things I've done...YES YES YES!!! Although I sometimes can't help but still grip on to them. Ok...cool girl, cool.
There's always resolution for a new year, so here's my sem's resolution. Will inspect this list after the sem.

1. Enjoy life. (not that I had not been enjoying life but I just want to be happier)
2. Trip Penang or Melaka
3. Have meal at Tenji
4. Remain in the dean's list
5. Join Mensa
6. Meditate more
7. Jog/ do some sports at least thrice a week for at least half and hour
8. Buy myself a decent wallet and bag, best if they match : )
9. Fight chapped lips and fatigue
10. Produce at least one academic article
11. Again, read more books
12. Earn some money so that I get buy myself a decent camera
13. Oh, I almost forget...to be a nice senior : )
Some people dislike the number 13, but I'm fine with it, so I'm not gona cut or add in.

Erm, look more like a to-do-list to me...ah, well...basically that's more than enough of what I could do within this semester while I'm here. At least I don't feel purposeless, right? Oh yeah, should join a great Christmas party too! But before that, I have to look for volunteers...clients for my counselling sessions. Anyone? It's totally FREE :D (ok, I know it doesn't sound as attractive as the Mega Sales or free facial and massage by professional beauty salons, maybe...)
OK...that's part and parcel of what I could think of now, will continue next time.

Here I Am

2009-07-07T20:35:00.004+08:00

Here I am in my room.

I'm not so sure if this is my room.

No possession is eternal, they can never be mine forever.

Life sucks when there are too many uncertainties.

But here I am, at the corner of this room

At least I have a bit of my privacy.

Some of my room mates don't even have a bed, I'm considered lucky.

I hadn't been smiling so much this few days,

I hope this is the only reason why I have been a little moody.

I've even thought of moving out.

Sigh~

till then, I tell myself, perhaps I've never really liked this place because of its population density

wifi problems, water shortage, break-ins, and now,

we are cramped as if we're in a refugee camp.

It's really ridiculous, that this is somehow due to RMK-9 .

There's nothing they can do,

so we're suppose to change our habits to adapt to this situation,

This is just one of the most filthy reasons they use to shut us up.

Talk about a student's rights?

I'm to tired for all this.

I just want a peace of mind and think of all the wonderful things that are ahead of me.

Fullstop.

Another week has passed...

2009-06-13T01:51:00.004+08:00

Just as I am starting to enjoy every bit of my holiday, I just realised that it's around two more weeks before I'm going to fly back to KL. I clearly remember how I complained about boredom at the beginning of the break. Right now, I almost hang out with my friends every day. And I find myself having more things to do. Weird psychology I know, it's always like this. Only starting to appreciate it when it's about to slip away.

Went back to Kuching High today an chatted with our teachers. They're actually so cute and less fierce/strict/stern when we become their "ex-students" :D but the one thing is, once he/she's our teacher, he/she'll be our teacher forever. We'll be having our KHS reunion on the 20th of June (which is very soon) so hopefully most of the alumni, current students, parents etc. will turn up and support our beloved school on that very day. Most of our happy memories cannot be burnt into ashes along with the buildings I bet.

At night, I went for dinner at Taman Kereta with my cousins, sis, bro and aunt. Had some seafood. Still full until now. We headed to Kapo, one of the "yamcha/limteh" places after the meal since we had no better suggestions of where to go. Erm, not so good remarks for that place but it was the moments we had together that's worth remembering. Had not been going out with family members like that for quite a long time. Sweet old times.

We mentioned about cholesterol levels, diet etc after the meal (our family loves seafood so much that we mostly have our family gatherings at seafood restaurants). My aunt said I look thin so she asked me to finish the crab when everyone else was either full for too lazy to eat it. I think that's my role at home too cause mum will ask to finish whatever's left...grr...
So to cut it short, I have not been jogging for the past 2 days. I ate a lot (due to my responsibility to finish food). Could not sleep at night (I'm suspecting I'm suffering from insomnia). And I came home to realised that my waistline and hip line has increased!!! AH!!!!!

Watched...Angels and Demons

2009-06-11T00:56:00.002+08:00

Went for a movie with May Hui (UM senior) on Wednesday. It was "Angels and Demons" which I have wanted to watch long time ago (because I liked the book so much). Somehow, I was a bit disappointed after the movie. The book was much better. The atmosphere in the cineplex was spoilt by a gang of "never-been-to-a cinema-before" brainless teenagers/youngsters. Just as Tom Hanks was elaborating about facts, that bunch of monkey came in and made noise for almost like half an hour. That was like a century for me. I tried so hard to focus on the movie but couldn't. I got so irritated I was thinking of standing up and shout at them so that they kept quiet. They must have mistaken a a cinema for a coffee shop. What? the cinema belongs to them? Still get me on fire when I come to think of it. They could not stop making noises even after other audiences "shhh..." at them. Epidermis of their faces must be as thick as a dictionary.

Thank goodness they stopped after some time. This time, it's the girl next to me, oh~ XXXX I just hope she could lower her voice and stop discussing the story with her friend. Crap, of course I know what the character was doing in the the movie. Perhaps her friend whose IQ or comprehension can be so poor that she needs to tell her that Robert Langdon was wearing a Mickey Mouse watch. Hello~even a 3 year old can tell me that. She went on and on. I stared a her sometimes but gave up. She's not some pretty girl or what and seriously I won't have minded so much if she lowered her volume. And the part I hate most is that she told her friend what might happen next. Oh, come on la...the book was one of the best sellers and she thinks she's the only person who has read about it?

I apologise if I was the one who kept my ear to their conversation but it was so loud man. Grr~ Frustrations!!!! Next time, I am not going to just stare at them. They (those who make too much noice) probably can't see me in the dark. I'm goin to take out my handphone to light my face, widen my eyes to the maximum, lean my face close to them and stare at them like a revengeful ghost! They'll probably learn their lessons by that...haha....

Letting go those irritating experiences, the movie was overall ok. I feel that too much is missing but I can't tell what. Most people might also compare it to "The Da Vinci Code" but I'm bad in making comparisons. Moreover, I forget almost 80% of that movie already? Except the smart car scene and another few. In short, reading the original text would be much more pleasurable because you get to pause and think of the clue and also to admire the symbols etc. A person who has not read the book must be quite confused for the fast pace storyline.

Anyway, some stories are better when filmed while others are better in novels as they were. Take Twilight for example. I've not read the book at all but I understand well about the story and I don't think I will spend time reading the book (since it's pretty much a romance). Therefore, no need to think much while wacthing the movie, agree? Ok, I admit, the characters in the movie matters too. If Edward and Bella in Twilight were played by somebody else, the effect couldn't have been so great. The love story was so beautiful because the main actor and actress were so charming. That could be the reason by I did not rate Angels and Demons well? Tom Hanks not handsome? Erm...yes (that's frank) and no because reading the book provides much more excitement.

Updated, finally

2009-06-09T01:36:00.004+08:00

If you have visited this blog some time ago, you may have noticed the chaos of scattering pictures in it. Well, the owner have come and arrange them into order (finally). That day was at Jalan Song with my 38 gang limteh-ing. I grabbed the opportunity to upload photoes (thanks to the wifi services) at the coffee shop since I failed after several attempts using the connection at home. Like what Mr. Kei said, dial-up connection is ancient already. What to do, no point applying for a broadband package since one of my sis will be going to UK soon and another already doing accounting at WM and me in KL too... So everytime I get to enjoy wifi, I'll be really really happy. Now, I don't even understand why I used to complain so much about the wireless services in campus, they're much better than dial-ups.
High speed net surfing led me to being too into my own business that I neglected my 38 gang. Therefore, Ah Gu San and Bella decided that no laptops are to be allowed during any limteh/yamcha sessions because those who do not bring along laptops will be left out. Ah well, that's why I'd only got the time to upload pictures and update later.
After limteh which was already midnight, we toured around the city. From south city to north city. Tauke Owen who wanted to take night scenes with his new Sony DSLR was a bit dissappointed becuase lightings were off at most places. Tauke Lip on the other hand couldn't stop telling stories about "human buns" (once a famous series filmed in Hong Kong about a murderer making buns/paus using human flesh) and some other ghost stories. Bella, Ah Gu San and me were trembling at the back of the car while Tauke Owen said he might want to take pictures of the supernatural phenomena. Spoookyyyy~

Craving for some good Japanese food

2009-06-06T23:26:00.005+08:00

Taken with my sis at Kampachi Japanese restaurant on the very first day of CNY 2009. A very first time and special way to celebrate CNY. All the nice food had empowered the feelings of me missing the celebration at home.

My happy sisters with their colourful Japanese food.

The Sushi Bento. Extremely nice. A must eat for sushi lovers! Mine was a Pavilion Bento, I wonder if the dish was name after Pavilion itself since the restaurant is located there. Anyhow, I don't know where that picture had been. It has a grilled mackerel in it. Very scrumptious too although I've love sushi more. Lately, I've been missing all the very delicious sushis and the choice of Japanese restaurants in KL. That's the one thing I'm missing KL now. Other nice restaurants which are less expensive compared to this one are Zanmai and Sakae. Zanmai is my favourite!! Nice and super-duper reasonable. I think that will be the first place I rush to once I'm back in KL. Have to blame Jogoya for not providing more sushis for me that day so my gratification towards sushi will be completely fulfilled and last for at least for these two months I'm away from KL. Not long after Jogoya having promotion, I heard from friends that Tian Ji and Shogun are also having promotion!!!! ARGH~~~~~~~~ WHY??????????

Why does this happen when I'm back for my sem break and ends before I go back? WHY?????????????? This could be one of the worst news of the year (for me)!

So you see, the whole purpose of me posting this entry is not to show how I celebrated CNY this year nor to show you which Japanese restaurants I've been to. It's to show how much a person (referring to myself here) can suffer when she misses the food so much....not like there's no Japanese reastaurants in Kuching, but after being pampered by the better standards (mainly variety), I just can't help but to crave for more. Well, until one day when I can't control my delayed gratification anymore, I'll take any sushis that come into my sight (like a hungy horse)!

Now I feel like eating my laptop because these beautiful sushi sets are just so tempting even on the screen.

Art work from Education Faculty

2009-06-06T23:05:00.017+08:00

Don't be surprise that these art work below are not properties of fine arts students. Some of these masterpieces were captured during a mini exhibition organised by the TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) students. There were a variety of artwork, using different techiniques and ingredients. I hope you'll like them too.

This is a watercoloured art work. I like the colour. It's much vibrant in reality. Sometimes I do feel that the eye captures the most beautiful moment.

These are made of shoe strings and other fabrics.

Twin tower made up of stamps.

This one is special. It has fragrance because it's glued with spices!

Abstract drawing. The one I like most.

I thought this one is quite sweet. Some lovely petals.

This is a combination of traditional and modern arts.

Ok, that's all for the TESL students. Now, it's time to show some work from some counselling students. You may want to ask, what do counselling students have to do with Education Fac? Well, it's a long story. The counselling course we take have nothing to do with being future conselling teachers (unless students apply to get an Education diploma after graduation etc.) but due to UM's long history, this course is placed under this faculty.

So, this was taken during an Expressive Arts Therapy workshop by Dr. Diana Lea B. (one of my favorite lecturers) on 16th Apr. It wasn't compulsory for all (counselling) students so not all my coursemates attended it. However, we had with us some Masters or even Doctorate students not to forget education workers such as teachers, principals etc.

Because the course was a short one, we were only exposed to a few main thing. Well, things may get deeper so, I guess we shall have a look at the work.

Notice that I did not leave any comments for these artworks? That was one of the things that I learnt from the workshop---do not interpret the work as a therapist, only the person who created it knows its meaning. Contrarary to people's misperception about counsellors or therapists in general, we DO NOT interpret all the time. More often, the clients have to do this themeselves. So, if you ask me, what does the tree symbolise? Well, I'll tell you I need more information from the creator to tell you. Anyway, it takes years to "produce" and accomplished expressive art therapists and a brief workshop can only enhance my knowledge.

Frankly speaking, I'm not fanatic of fine arts but I do appreciate creative works. Human are borned to be creative, don't you agree? Despite hearing people saying, "I'll never be good in arts", there are many ways on how we look at it. Drawing is one way, we have singing, dancing, speaking, writing, photographing and even blogging. Anything can be an art. Thinking is also an art don't you think? If you happen to have believed in such a statement, think twice. You may live out the creative side of yourself.

After all these, let you have a guess, which above would you think is my work? The title of my art is "A Gift for Mother". If you have it right, you have the talent to be an expressive art therapist as well ; )

Neno Award!~ yeah~

2009-06-03T22:43:00.003+08:00

Ok, my fault... I received this from a beauty blogger, Von Von long time ago but dragged on for so long before I get o post this on my blog. Ta Da~ here it is... Thanks a million to Von. She's a really friendly blogger. Ever since I came across her blog, I'm stuck to it. Even these days when I get online, I visit her blog instead of mine first hehe...I was addicted to her blog that I don't mind to maintain my blog less than reading her blog. Anyhow, thanks for this =)

You may like her blog if you're really into beauty stuffs. Her website is http://vonvonsinterests.blogspot.com

The site is not under my link because I visit it so much that it's permanent in my history list :D

Well, according to the intstruction, I'm suppose to do many other things like choose ten friends which I would like to give the award to and drop a message at their chatbox. Ok, the list is (not in order)

1. Adrian Ng

2. Benjamin Moh

3. Huey Ye

4. Curry Egg

5. Yee Shien

6. Owen

7. Sean

8. Yang Lip

9. Sarah

10. Von Von

Well, it's really hard to choose. Everyone has their own uniqueness. I should apologize if u don't find my notification in your chatting box. This is an appreciation too all my friends who blog :)

There's no specific criteria cause I "award" this pretty much base on my "impression" (nice pics, nice posts, layout, genuinity, originality, interesting and surprising stuffs etc.). There are actually many other good bloggers which are not in this list. As more and more friends blog, I find it hard to keep up with all, I read those in my list more regularly. So, if you're in my link, you're very much appreciated too!

outting with 38 gang

2009-06-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

After some centuries, I finally get to meet up with my 38gang. Finally got to enjoy the goodness of wi-fi!!!! yeah~ Just as I planned to upload my incomplete previous entries, I realised that I didn't bring my pendrive which has all my recent pictures. Argh~
Anyhow, will update with some other things first (without) pictures though...

Another "personality test"

2009-05-16T22:01:00.005+08:00

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
I can be very idealistic and unrealistic sometimes.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Typical Piscean, ya, I think I'm romantic...haha.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
Right person, right time...I think so...

The seriousness of your love:You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
This statement seems to contradict the previous one. Well, I'm not always among the opposite sex. I have more girl friends tha guy friends and I think I care for everyone just the same way.

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
There are times when I feel like there's too little I know but for academic purposes, I'd rather study smart than study hard :-p

The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
At least I'm settled down in one particular field now, I won't float away...

How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
yap, I have faith in myself. Once I've decided, I'm going to do it whole-heartedly.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Independence is important to me but I love to rely on people around me too.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Those are important qualities of a counsellor but i'm not sure if I'm really like this. Yea, "heart problems" are more challenging than "head problems".

Got to try out this test through Jessica's blog. Well, Got nothing better to do for the time being.
To try out yourself, please click here: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

First week of holiday usually spells B.O.R.E.D....

2009-05-16T01:46:00.007+08:00

Looks like internet connection doesn't allow me to upload my pics to my blog. Argh!~ I despise the speed of connection at home (although I used to complain about the broadband signals in campus which "disappear" sometimes). Well, I guess all I need is patience...and more patience...since I've still got time during holidays, might as well plan something else which is beneficial.
Tomorrow will attend a talk about investment. Looking forward to it cause there's definitely something new I can gain. Lately, I'm into business and financial topics. Probably due to the boredom I get from this one-week holiday (so far), I'm starting to develop new interests again.

People who are in Kch...WHERE ARE YOU GUYS? or probably, you guys are not back yet. Sigh~
After the talk tomorrow, I'll be heading to places with people/crowd and try to make new friends. Now I realise, how important friends are. They keep me alive. Now, I'm like half dead. Oh well, not to forget my work (being 2 secretaries, one vice president, one unit head, a participant of all sorts of events, assignments and a responsible (ok, will reconsider this adjective) student at the same time) which really drives me into severe "busy-ness" but is very enjoyable.

I guess I still cannot recover from my busy lifestyle in campus, being too free just make me anxious. That just makes me wonder, am I a workaholic? Right now, I'll just get a sleep and stop all these wonderings.

29/04/09

2009-05-14T17:23:00.010+08:00

Jogoya trip. I was a little disappointed because the choice of sushi is not as much as I expected. Dessert was the best though. Well, let the pictures do the talking shall we?

I started off with this refreshment.Thai fragrant coconut. Nice. It's not too sweet nor too filling. Haha...good for me so that I have space to fill my stomach with some better food.

Seafood miso. cery nice to my liking (I picked the ingredients myself :p )

Spider crab. It's one of the VIP food. I did not actually own the VIP card. One nice aunty who queued in front of me offered to lend me her card so that we could enjoy the meal. She was such a nice person. And thanks to her, we also got to enjoy lobsters. As we were too hungry at the firts place, we finished it before we had the time to take a picture of it.

After eating all the seafood, I decided that I should start tasting the desserts. There were cakes and mochis and more...

TaDA~ pudding, cookies, fruits and the one I've have been long waiting for: Haagen Dazs Ice-Cream~ yumyum... I really regretted that I did not take a few more scoops. I was too full then and in case something goes wrong with my stomach, how am I suppose to go back and continue revising Mental Health for tomorrow's test?

Finally, got to the taste the red wine as my final drink before we leave the restaurant. Something's wrong with it. I suspect that it's diluted with water because it's so bland that I can drink the whole glass in one goal. June was so afraid that I might get drunk but I guess alcohol concentration was at its minimum (due to the dilution).

A photo of the two girls who wanted to make legend for having a big meal the day before Mental Health final exam which was taught by our very respected Profesor Suradi. I got a B something in his previous subject and I just got my most recent results a few days ago. Woo~ I got an A. But I doubt how I could have done that, seriously. I didn't even finish reading the textbook that night after Jogoya. *guilty but relieved*

Another picture outside the restaurant.

Well, I think I ate a lot (ok, maybe not as much as the girls next table. Despite how thin and pretty they are, they can really eat) so it's worth back my money amounted RM40++ during the promotion. I mean, 2 scoops of Haagen Dazs ice-cream is worth RM20++ already, not to mention all the seafood and desserts I've had. I think the best Japanese food was grilled Unagi. I think I had 2 plates of those. And I ate a lot of salmon too :D Other than that, I just tasted a bit of here and there. The cheese baked escargot was pretty bad though. I still prefer those served at The Ship. Those I had that day was too dry like the snails were imported from the great Sahara desert. But towards the end, the desserts had enlighten my day...I LOVE SWEET FOOD, YUMMY~ too bad, I was really full at that point. Seriously, I'm not the right person to enjoy buffet. I rather enjoy fine food with less amount. But for people who have bigger appetites, it'll be really worthit.

15/03/09

2009-05-14T16:19:00.002+08:00

Well, we've seen many twins before but what about triplets? The chance is 1 in 8100. I'm not sure if I have known 8100 people but this is one of the historical days in my life...the first time I meet this three brothers altogether. They've surprised me when they were asking my co-workers about educational information during one of our activities in SMK Chung Hua Klang. I was done with my work at that time so I listened to the others. Just as I was observing the conversation between one of the brothers and my friend, another turned to me and I was surprised and couldn't help but to to say to my other friend "Look, they're twins!". Then the third brother turned to us and we shouted "TRIPLETS!!!"

So, here they are. I am the only person who got to take a shoot with them because we were actually running out of time then. Lucky me! Haha... (laughs victoriously)

2009-05-14T15:54:00.003+08:00

As I promised to update my blog (more frequently), I am going to make full use of my holiday to post the pictures and events which I missed when I was in the campus.

2009-04-28T18:12:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow will be Jogoya Day..no matter what...will only think about my exam on mental health (30/4) after that...I Want all the ice-creams!!! hahaha

Pseudoscience...or not?

2009-04-21T13:16:00.004+08:00

I used to be an extremely perceptive person. I just realised that my mode of thinking has changed. Well, it comes from several aspects. A counselling student need not be so "scientific" but I just can't help to think logically like how I was trained in my science stream years.

Lately, I was informed that a researcher from Japan Masaru Emoto who has done some research on the crystalization of water that was exposed to positive regards such as "love and gratitude" and prayers will form beautiful shapes when frozen. On the other hand, the crystalization will look "ill" if the water is being cursed and devalued. The results awed many people because if it is real, that means water has "life" but of course if it's not sterile water, it'll surely has live i.e. microorganisms. But let's just put that aside, our body is made up of more than 70% of water. What will the consequences be, if we receive good meesages more than negative messages, will we be healthier and more beautiful?

Well, some people simply think that it's crap because they claim that not enough evidence was presented. Now, Evidence is important, especially in science. If a person wants to claim his/her studies to be scientific, he/her better be prepared with all those empirical data. But again, if the person is unethical, the results can be made up. My point is, whether this is true or not is not within what we can say until we are able to disprove it. Being a counselling student and most of the time using theories which are hard to measure (human's minds and emotions are uneasy to be measured), this is the principle which I will hold, at least for the time being. Until someone can disprove the hypothesis, what the researcher claim will still be true. Not that I believe in the hypothesis 100%, I don't have the time and equipment to carry out experiments (although it does not sound too complicated) to deny it.

So, for the time being, it's still an amazing experiment to me. I'm not sure about the water in our body, but I'm sure, psychologically, if we (normal human being) are being exposed to negative messages all the time, we'll get tired, and eventually become "ill" in whichever term that fits your understanding most. Words can kill or heal (quoted from Dr. Haslee). Then, why not let us say something good to others as much as we can, I mean there's nothing to lose. And you're doing a good thing to the world, making others happy. Of course not until the extend someone would think you're hypocrite. Therefore, you can call me naive, I just want to believe in nice things. I just believe good things will happen to anyone, with or without proof. Sometimes, believing it is what you have to do.

p.s. If you disagree with me, please share with me your thoughts, I'd really love to see from a different point of view.

By the way, Dr. Masaru Emoto be at PGRM, Cheras, on 23/4 (thu), 7.30pm to give a talk (on his research). You may go if you're interested.

2009-04-18T12:38:00.002+08:00

I was looking for a friend's name through the Facebook. Lately u'll find me logged on to it almost daily...oops~ it's study week, exam in not more than 2 days!!! However, this is not the main point, exam is just exam, what more?
The main reason I blogged is because, as i was searching for my friend's name, which i think is quite common, I suddenly got the idea to search for my own name. Guess what? There are actually 9 Bei Shans...yeah...mb around the globe wadsoever. Luckily we don't share the same surname. oK... My name ain't that special, but 9 is quite many too...anyhow, I know none of them, so just forget it. Next time when you've got nothing to do, u may try too. See how many people shares ur name. haha..

Finally...

2009-04-04T14:11:00.002+08:00

These are the several pics I have in my laptop for the time being, will edit and repost after I find some time to transfer the photoes from my phone to my laptop ; )

Hawaii Nite (some random pics first,update later).

2009-04-04T14:08:00.006+08:00

Haunted...

2009-04-04T14:07:00.000+08:00

MAK 27/02/09

2009-04-04T14:05:00.002+08:00

This year, MAK is not that exciting anymore. Last year we were so happy taking photoes together, hoping to capture the beauty of every beautiful girl and handsome guy to store them in our photo albums. This year...hm...all I was excited about was my prize...yap, I was awarded "Anugerah Jasa Bakti". Haha...all deprivation of sleep and reduction of entertainment pays! I can't really remember the criteria to receive the award. I think it's something like contributing to college activities that kind. The award was given to 19 students and 6 Chinese students received the award. I'm proud to be one of the receipients. Well, not the highest award but, it gives satisfaction to me. I actually got a hint that I'm going to receive an award that night when one of my juniors asked me to give her my photoes (for the multimedia presentation) but I had no clue what award it'd be until that particular night.

Here's a photo of it. Ya it looks hidden behind the gifts I received. Doorgifts and flowers given by some gentlemen. Thanks.

A photo of me with Cia Wen, a final year senior.

A photo with my daughter. Haha...i have a bunch of "kids" but I chose the pictures randomly. Like I said, I don't take many photoes this year, so it's a pity you guys can't get the best out of our college's pretty girls.

Layout of the table before dinner.

Another final year senior. Duno why she reminds me of my mother. I think my mum look a bit like her when she was young...haha...

June and her "husband", our YB haha...two of them in our MT board now. Probably the most influential couple in our CC board ;p

I kissed a girl Ooppss...

Oh, now that I've uploaded these pics, I just recalled that many of my pics are taken using others' cameras. Feel lazy to trace where they are now. So, by right I should have taken more pics than these. Uh...it's okla...Upload more other lenglui pics some day later...maybe in other events. About the event...i somehow find food better than last year, although some disagreed. The place was not was grand (held at The Summit, Subang) compared to that at JW Mariott in Putrajaya last year. I arrived late this year, took the last bus and almost miss it. Aih~long story, can forget it. Second year dy, like what I usually say, Old Liaw...less excitement, less thrill, less fun...more serious stuff to do. Another training camp on the following camp, have to be in the condition to go to Kuala Selangor next early morning.

2009-04-04T13:45:00.002+08:00

Sorry again for not updating my blog. Been EXTREMELY busy. I notice that the hitcounter keeps running. Thanks to all of you who concerns about me and thanks for visiting. Lazy to type, so will upload photoes only. Hopefully the line is cooperative enough to allo me to do that ; )

Aware! Scary content, read by your own risk

2009-02-16T21:01:00.006+08:00

I just had the first surgery ever in my life this afternoon. Although it’s just a minor one, I think that’ll be the one thing I can hardly forget.

I mistaken the appointment for 1pm where it’s actually 2pm. So I waited and waited. As I was waiting, I realized that the watch I just bought for not more than one month broke down. Ergh~ and I continue waiting feeling really sleepy after a meeting and a singing practice at the night before and one morning class. I thought I could just sleep when anesthetic is given to me. But….I really hate myself to use “BUTs” in such situations.

I entered the room. Room number seven. I hope it’s a lucky seven and nothing goes wrong. I was thinking what kind of dental surgeon I would get. Ideally, should be a handsome, well-built, experienced, skillful young dentist who can pull my tooth in less than half an hour (so that I don’t have to suffer). I do have a reason for all the criteria above, i.e. experienced and skillful so that he can judge well and do well, well-built so that he has the energy to do it if possible in a split second so that I suffer less, and finally, handsome so that he’s so pleasant to look at until I forget the pain.

BUT…everything went the other way. A young, petite, forth year (pursuing dentistry), Malay lady come into the room and ask me more than a dozen of questions. She asked and wrote until another dental student came in. Then, came in another Chinese male student (not handsome though), so my bubbles went “POP”

The male student looked like the most convincing though, but I wasn’t sure who would the surgeon be until she started to introduced herself. She asked more questions and her assistant wrote it down. You know, usually I’m a really cooperative person, especially when I hope to get out of that place ASAP.

BUT… I started to feel uncomfortable when another bunch of students come in and discuss about the structure of my teeth and ask each other questions. OMG, is this a group discussion for an assignment? They started to check on my teeth as if they were some antiques in a museum. I just hoped that the supervisor (the students’ lecturer) could come and save me. I don’t wana risk my life AHHHHHH~

It really felt like a century as minutes passed. The student then started to checked clinically on my teeth after I laid on the couch. She attempted to switch on the light so that she could see clearly. “click”…how come no light? “click” again… “the bulb might be burnt” said the student. So they asked two nurses. They gave some tips but it didn’t work. They then discuss whether to move to another room or not. Just then, a nurse came in with a technician. “Click”…no light. “Click” again…AHA~ there it is! “How come you guys didn’t switch this on?”
I began to confirm that my worry is more than reasonable. How come dental students don’t know how to use a simple equipment like that? I should have been running away from that horrible place.

Firstly, the informed consent was not properly carried out because I didn’t even know what the heck will be happening to me in a few more minutes. Instead, I asked the student, “So, later, you’re going to drill part of my jaw bone, then you’ll pull out my tooth and stitch it back? And you’ll give me anesthetic? How long will it last?” Gosh, I was so afraid I missed out anything until she told me about a nerve which was way below the tooth AND the interesting part is, the percentage of getting it numb, for the rest of my life is one percent. I immediately prayed. Please, I won’t be that lucky one percent.

Then, came the supervisor. I thought the supervisor can calm me BUT…
Her presence just totally ripped off my confidence towards those students. Well, I’ll be experiencing practical too in the later stages of my study but I can really list down the mistakes they done.

“Hey, how can you remove that (anesthetic syringe) with your bare hands? Don’t you know it’s sterile?” OK, I hope my immune system can withstand all the germs of the assistant’s hand.
Then, the supervisor asked if they’ve informed me about the operation and I answered as if I could score an A if I were in an exam except that the chance of getting numb jaw for the rest of my life is not one percent but TWO. Ok, statistics can change…and a small difference is acceptable for me. But my chance of not being able to function normally just increased by one percent when the supervisor was there. God bless me…

I nodded like a really good and kind patient while the “surgeon” and her assistant were washing their hands. Suddenly, the supervisor said something. “Don’t you know how to wash your hands properly? Do you know you should wash until your elbow?” Ok…that is very lack of general knowledge. Before that, the assistant was even scolded for wearing the mask upside down. “Don’t you know that you’ll trap germs like this?” Things happened until the supervisor said something like “Saya memang tak nak tegur kamu…saya tiada tenaga dah”. I was speechless but still managed to keep three words “ NO EYE SEE”.

As the supervisor kept asking the students questions, the situation just got worse and worse I felt like I was a white mice. “I’m a forth year student and this is my first time performing an oral surgery” (swallowing my saliva hardly).

So she started with the anesthetic. It was ok but the supervisor kept saying something like “I’m going home at four. It’s three something now so if you don’t hurry, you’ll do it yourself.” After that, they closed my face and body with two pieces of cloth and started the surgery. The supervisor kept asking them questions like who knows the answer to this, ten marks. There were times when the student didn’t know the answer and my worries geared up. Why don’t they ask more questions like “Ng, how do you feel?” I really regretted that I found my tooth to grow abnormally. I should have just pretended that nothing happened and live a normal life. To that, I just added three more words to my speechlessness “NO EAR HEAR”, especially during the part when the supervisor urged the student to be fast while she was trembling. She didn’t know in fact I was shaking an eighth level degree on a Ritcher scale.

All ended at four something. The happiest thing that ever happen to me today. I even took pictures. But now, my mouth and even the left part of my neck hurts like hell. I’ve taken a simple function like swallowing saliva for granted but now I know, I should have appreciated it.
I really don’t feel like doing anything whereas I should be working on my assignment. I got a 3-day MC but only plan to skip several classes. Tomorrow will be a another painful day…plus it’s still bleeding.

can you spot my tooth?

TaDa~

my blood!!!!

2009-02-07T10:46:00.004+08:00

Sorry for not been updating my blog that frequently these days (although I had a week's holiday during CNY). Been loafing around. Will update with some pictures. Seems like I gradually lose my ability to express in words after not blogging for such a long time. That is why this post is only this short. Be patient, will recover my essay wrtiting ability in some time...

A Special CHINESE NEW YEAR

2009-01-25T00:09:00.005+08:00

新年快乐，恭喜发财，万事如意！！！

I'd probably be saying very little of these few lines because I'm not going home this New Year. Not 1st of January, but 26th February this year, Chinese New Year, the most significant celebration for a Chinese...and especially a Chinese like me who used to complain about how much troubles (i.e. spring cleaning, shopping in congested malls, lots and lots of preparations and chores) the festive celebration can bring and finally come to realize how much I longed for it. It's really very awkward for me to be in front of my laptop blogging at this time if I were already back in hometown. I'd be sleeping and snoring like a pig afer helping my mum cleaning up or baking cookies.

I want my Chinese New Year to be a bit merrier. I don't want to sit in front of my laptop playing stupid games or worse typing letters for others. I don't want to work or plan what I want to do after the one week holiday. I don't want to worry about my assignments and activities. I just want a nice Chinese New Year celebration...

Right now, I don't even care if I have to wash the floor, arrange the littles things at home, bake cookies and listen to dozens of Chinese New Year songs (I used to hate them and my ex-room mates know it well).

well, will not be able to pass my cny at home this year..haha, but we talk bout really a lot in the room,haha, this is wat we talk yesterday in my room with both of my roomates.

me: i think A doesn't like cny as much as we like.
B:...
A: (comes in n heard the radio which was playing CNY song) oh no, i dun like cny
B: u know Cny is really fun.
A: is just that we need to work a lot before that, just for that few days, really dun like it
me: but that is the fun part
A: well, still dun really like it
thn me n B starts talkng bout the cny
well, it never have pass my head that there is someone who actually dun really like cny....hmm..... never think of it

(extracted from Huey Ye's blog without permission but I hope she won't mind)

Obviously, I'm miss "A".

A few days ago, I keep on asking my current room mate, Bibiana to play CNY songs. I bought myself a red shirt so that I can wear it on the first day of CNY (I wore turqoise and black last year on the first day)

Look at those two sweet girls next to me...they're in red. Yes, don't take me as a colourblind for not choosing to wear red on the first day of CNY.

Isn't it ironic? Start to miss something which I did not appreciate in the past. I think it's a lesson for me. I just don't want to be the Crinch ---Grinch's sister who attempted to steal CNY instead of Christmas. Now, I'm thinking of how much fun I' would have had if I'm at home. I miss the atmosphere and my friends there. I miss all the little little things from the junkfood, decorations, gambling...Oops~ and all the house visiting activities...OH WAIT!!!! ANG PAU!!!! How can I forget THAT??? Tonight I'll be dreaming of thousands of angpaus, falling from the sky on me...ah~

2009-01-24T23:36:00.003+08:00

I'm so so sorry this is such a late post. I havn't been blogging since the past few weeks although many things happened. Partly due to the speed of wifi...which is really slow here (problems with nearby ports) and also my laptop which is most of the time hidden (so that it won't get stolen in case someone breaks in).

Many things happened. I toured part of the city centre with Huey Ye, Siew Li and Saki (a japanese friend), went to a meditation camp, underwent the campus election...

and I just found a picture of the incident. Well, I don't really like to write bout politics and some more there are reports everywhere. Read it, but don't have to believe everythings. So, here's a link to one of the blogs which has the picture of the very famous incident. "Animal head at a holy place" http://pemudapasseremban.net/v4/content/view/862/92/

I hope the title is not too explicit otherwise my blog will be flooded with readers who are overexcited with the topic. Reports are reports, they may not sound very judgmental BUT, people will always judge them with their own values. I can't be that neutral as well. Well, I really don't know who did that, but that person or group of people is/are too much that I can call he/her/them terrorist(s) or extremist(s). There are just too many possibilities like who did it and why? Probably related to the campus' politics or politics in general; probably done by the pro or the anti party; probably done by people who can access the holy place or those intruded the place and accidentally dropped something which they shouldn't have; also we don't know how the person/people look(s) like: big eyes? small eyes? big nose? small nose? Thick lips? Thins lips? tall? short? fat? thin? dark? fair?......

Whoever it is, I TOTALLY disagree with it as it's really a humiliation to the religion. What's the different between that person (assuming there's only one person involved) and a terrorist? He's/she's rampaging others' peace of mind and especially when it invloves a place of holy where people pray. No one would like to be a victim of such an incident. Not only that, it's a disgrace to the people of his/her kind because his/her behaviour simply portray how crude and hostile that person is. I don't know about others but I definitely will not want to be anyhow be related to such a person. Who knows what I'll get if I said or did something wrong to him/her and then find gross stuff in my room. I think this is just too dramatic, it's really a very creative way to insult people (the only credit I can think of) but still, hard to digest.

Another Day as A Refugee

2008-12-29T23:27:00.003+08:00

I just cleaned my room but I am going to stay for another night at my coursemate's room. My room mates were not back yet and I heard that the site workers who are foreigners have the keys to our room. OH NO~ what if I wake up in the middle of the night realising that there's one hairy man sitting next to me giggling? Oh, that's just too scary. Besides that, I loss an amount of money. I don't know how much exactly but there's no money left in my locker now. Luckily my account book which was unintentionally left behind was still there. Now that my locker is spoilt, I can't lock it and I've got no privacy at all. Grr...
There corridor and toilets are really dirty. Now, I can understand what they mean by "meningkatkan taraf hidup" the living standards of students who live in the hostel really needs to be increased. There are dead cockroaches, lizard waste and all the creepy insects you can name. I cleaned the room for a few hours and before I move in tomorrow. Before I left the room, I spray lots and lots of lemon deodorizer into the space of the room. It's actually a substitute for mosquitoe killer. I couldn't get a Ridsect or Shieldtox, so I thought maybe AmbiPur can be useful. Yap, I sprayed it straight into the mosquitoes which flies in my way HAHA... Hopefully all the insects will leave my room due to the almost saturated with zesty lemon atmosphere in the room. That's insect buster minus the unpleasant smell. So, tomorrow, I'll be counting mosquitoes which faint on my floor.

At least a bit of something to be happy about

2008-12-29T10:18:00.004+08:00

There's some celebration going on here.

Looks like a great party. Could it be something I plan for new year eve?

Seriously, I'm not a party queen, but looks like it's worthit to buy some champagne and celebrate.

What kind of celebration? It's definitely not my birthday...

Tada~ It's because my blog get hits over 10 000! I never thought this would happen as most of the time it's pretty much abandoned. Thanks to all the readers. I mean you, YES! YOU!!! So, all the fireworks are for you! And this is the something I'm happy about after being trapped in my college for 2 days.

homeless...roomless

2008-12-29T10:00:00.003+08:00

Currently updating my blog in my coursemate's room. My room in a chaos, it was under renovation over the break. The lockers in it were opened luckily I didn't find my possesions stolen YET. Even so, I don't think there are anything valuable. Strangely, of of the girl's soft toys were stolen. I didn't know strong men who build houses would enjoy such furry stuff. Anyhow, I really hope that I can get back to my room as soon as possible. Got floors to clean, windows to wipe and much more. Now I'm starving. Overall, I been settling quite well even though i had to stay in other people's room. Life is sometimes like a refugee that I'm thinking of moving out...IF, I have transport. I can't imagine how my parent's expressions will be if I propose to send the car from Kuching to KL. Too bad I can't ride a motorcycle. Maybe I should get a license, or even get a cheap hundredth-hand car.
Well, should be grateful that I can move back to my room soon. It's no longer a storeroom. Or else, I'd be in a situation of "有家归不得，有房睡不得". Sigh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

30th Nov 2008

2008-12-17T15:35:00.004+08:00

A couple of things happened in this holiday. I didn't know where to start from so I'll just write whatever I still remember of.

30th Nov 2008
Two weeks has passed. I have come back home for a while but had not really meet up with my friends. Today we went to watch Lim Yu Chung at SUPP’s building. This is the place where many artistes hold their mini concerts. The place wasn’t really full by the time we arrive but people began to flood the place as it gets late. It has been some time since I last went to such a mini concert. The previous was at Sg. Wang in KL. I guess as I get older, I'm not so enthusiated about seeing idols anymore. Anyway, I don't especially fancy anyone, I just listen to good music.

This time, I got a little crazier than last time because I was with some crazy people like San Hui and Yee Shien. Flower's of Chung Hua No.1. We got to snap a group photo at the end of the mini concert but Baboon didn't email me the photo as he promised *ahem*. We were nearly chased away by the organizers as they were busy taking down the banners.

More to come after so many weeks of laziness in updating. Felt as if I'm disconnected from my social circle.

2008-12-17T15:34:00.003+08:00

Obviously, I'm a tech-idiot. Today's not the right day for me to change a new template for my blog. I'll figure it out another time. I'll upload some photoes instead.

Obviously, geniuses don't have to study

2008-10-28T22:39:00.002+08:00

While everyone is busy reading their books right now, I'm onlining to search for IQ games. I hope that really enhance my intelligence cause I just played this free online game called "burger Restaurant" where I pissed up all my customers for making them waiting too long for their orders. It was a long way to reach the finishline an I was online at level 6 (I think), so I gave up.
Those multiple choice IQ questions are much easier than that game, seriously. So, I scored 149, does that mean I don't have to study? I wish...but 149 is quite sufficient for me to be qualitfied as a genius, so do I still have to study? I mean why should I be studying others' theories, I should making my own right now agree? Feel free to check if you should stop studying too by clicking the button to play. There are only 20 questions, won't take much time of yours.

ok, better be getting back to reality now...

chill

2008-10-21T16:04:00.002+08:00

I've only realised that I have not been updating my blog since one month ago. Time flies...and the speed is especially fast when you have a list of chores to do everyday. Another assignment to be submitted, one essay to be passed up and many more little things. The most important thing is....exam is coming in less than two weeks. Before that there's a small test on Thursday.

Put aside all those, I went to Stadium Putra to see the Peace Celebration of Global Peace Festival. It was great overall except the gimmick and the speech delivered by the director of GPF in Malaysia (he was actually shouting). There were dances (hip-hop dances and multicultural dances), performances by local artistes and the Malaysian Drum Symphony and many more. And this is the first time I to sing "Negaraku" along with the National's Military Band LIVE...it felt great (and just they look smart as seen on TV)! It's totally different when you sing it with the recorded version. You can really feel the atmosphere and young people from different countries gathering together with an awareness to promote peace to the world. It's sort of heart felt and you'll feel there's a strange connection between each of us although we don't really know each other. Besides, I got to take picture with a really cute Thai guy. Will show his picture some time..hehe. And also, meeting the Malaysian's first astronaut (even though from far) is such a satisfaction. Gosh~he is just too handsome to be an astronaut!!!

OK...guess it's stop here. Got other stuff to do...will share the pictures some time later.

Breaking my habits

2008-09-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

Woke up early morning even though I went out for supper with my college friends till late last night. I wish there is a day when I can sleep until I can wake up naturally but this seems impossible for this year. Sigh…loaded with all kinds of work from different activities. Since when have I become a machine who sits in front of my laptop and type on and on by referring to something called a “to-do-list” so that I can have all the items on it cancelled at the end of the day. This is so not me. My outings are usually short and rushed. I even have to consider if I should go out due to the chores undone. I sometimes envy those who are so free that they can just sit in front of the laptop to watch drama series or listening to songs.

How long have I not been updated with the newest songs? Long enough until I just realize that Linkin Park’s latest album “Minutes to Midnight” which was actually released last year to be so pleasant to listen to. I love “Leave out all the rest” and “Shadow of the Day” best. So not like the old Linkin Park who used to scream in their songs but still so nice. Just like the me who used to be so laid back and carefree but have to abide to the responsibilities attached to me now. I have been tamed without being aware of it at all. Been tied by invisible ropes called duties and responsibilities. I even wonder why have I become so autonomous and even offer to take down some of the tasks. People change I guess. Instead of going out to have fun, I have to close myself in my room for self-entertainment. I just discovered a few ways to release stress. Eating chocolate and listening to soft music especially oldies. Been downloading English oldies which I was not even interested in back then. Been eating chocolate like it’s a medicine that cures overwork minds. Chocolate works miraculously for me to beat stress. A piece of chocolate a day keeps moodiness away but I hope I don’t welcome diabetes instead. And did I say I am experiencing sleep deprivation? Being a person who enjoys quality sleep so much shouldn’t be giving up on such a great hobby. Worse, communication with others has been reduced. Most of the time I deal with others, it has to be about the things to be done. I wish I can just sit down and talk crap.

Hmm…I think I should cut the chores I have in hand a little so that I feel more comfortable. I guess when it comes to group work, I just need to distribute some of the parts to others, I guess I have been to idealistic that I make sure all the things done should be the best but barely do I realize that it could be ideal in my opinion but not in other’s. So I should try to believe in others in the team. Yeah, that’s what I will do. Easy…easy, don’t get too tensed.

Aging with Grace

2008-09-06T14:33:00.003+08:00

It has been gloomy since morning. I am doing my revision for next week’s exam for Adult Development and Aging while surfing the net. I come across this website which listed the world’s 20 saddest songs. Some of the issues include heart breaking relationships, unsuccessful marriage, lonely childhood, suicidal thoughts, and depression. I was stuck at number fifteen. The song is “My Mom” by Chocolate Genius. I had no idea who this guy was before, until I listen to his song. The chorus part sounds “my mom, my sweet mom, she don’t remember my name”. The singer’s mother does not remember him not because of abandonment but Alzheimer. It is really sad that the person you have known these years, who have loved you and nurtured you all the while forgetting who you are. You will get a clearer picture if you listen to the whole song. It is a heart touching melody which triggers me.

Human cannot defy nature no matter how advance scientific researches can be. No one can avoid from being old. Being in this world for 2 decades, we have seen people around us who get old each day. It is because we are still young, we cannot taste how it is like to become old, but I can feel that my parents are getting old. I think that both my parents are great parents. They might not be rich, the might not be famous, but they are the most fantastic people in my life. My father used to be a fair person. Due to long hours working under the sun, he becomes over tanned. The tone of his hand and legs are so contrast when he wears shorts. I told him to apply sunscreen to avoid skin damage due to UV rays but he said it is a waste. I felt so bad because even though I am not exposed to the sun for long hours, I apply sunscreen whenever I go under the sun. His skin tone is like a sign of his sacrifice to earn a living to sustain the family. Both my parents were good looking people. My mum was a pretty young woman. I saw it in her photo album. I still think she is still pretty now despite the traces that time leaves on her. My mum is a hardworking housewife who does not care too much about her beauty. Unlike some housewives of her age, she does not buy many fancy clothes, visit beauty salons or dyes her hair. She wants to save money for her children’s education.

I am ashamed that I have been an irresponsible daughter. I am always busy with my own things but seldom being busy for my parents whereas they have been giving their youth to raise us up. I wish I can spend more time with them, understand them more before it is too late. My father is in his fifties now, I am so grateful that he and mum are still so healthy. I really hope I can go home more often, I miss them a lot. I used to complain that being with my friends is much fun than being with them. Suddenly, I realize how important this subject is for my course. It reminds us to respect and appreciate the elders.

To listen to the song, "My Mom", click this link.
http://www.spinner.com/2007/05/04/the-25-most-exquisitely-sad-songs-in-the-whole-world-no-15/

2008-08-29T00:48:00.001+08:00

sorry for not updating...been really busy. just cut my hair...again...so will upload my photoes some time. haha, please be patient ; )

moral of the story: don't ever dream of being a diva if u can't even do a solo

2008-08-12T23:39:00.003+08:00

I can't believe there is a day when a senior can be set up by some juniors.

I was with some juniors during a meeting and we got so "high" that we wrote each other's names on the list of name for singing audition on the notice board. I didn't really feel much about it until..........

TODAY. I was back from a dinner with a bunch of friends and someone asked me, "Hey, kenapa tak pergi audition lagi?" I was like "HUH?"

OOPs...That was the organizing chairperson of that project. Luckily I saw the few juniors who wrote their names on the board and ask them to go together BUT them didn't seem interested to go. I could have just pulled out as well but the bad news is some people just like to look at notice boards. They just some how know that my name was written on the first row of the list. And unlike being a junior, being around for one year means they recognise me...OH NO~~~~

So, I rushed back to my room and tell my room mate about it. Siew Li who plays guitar encouraged me by playing some songs for me so that I could practise. I guess I can get nervous than I could imagine because I can't reach the pitch which I usually can do with ease. I thought I could be as simple as singing karaoke with my friends but when I passed by the Bilik Sidang where audition is held, I panicked. There were many people and a camcorder. Crap...and if I use the microphone to sing, I bet the whole block can hear me. Let me just bury my head in some whole...Not like I've never sung in front of some audience before but that was N years ago and it was a duet with Joash. Should anything happen,he could still back me. Along with me were familiar faces like Sean, Carey and Samuel. Even that, we rehearsed the whole morning and I had a bunch of buddies down there to support me.
This time is crazy, I'm so totally unprepared. Well, guys, do wish me luck :-S
Tomorrow will be it.

Visit to the art Gallery

2008-08-03T19:34:00.012+08:00

This post was supposed to be posted up long time ago when I was having my holiday back in Kuching. due to my "buzyness", can only show some of the pictures now and I totally forget what I want to comment on it. I think it was in early July that I went to the Sarawak Art museum which I have never been to all these years until I saw the banners that there was going to be an exhibition by Sarawakian artists. Being a supportive citizen, I went.

So, this is actually a piece of batik with human figures in it. I think you may also spot a house and guess what they are doing. It is one of the different art I saw.

A dragon-like creature.

View of the gallery.

Chinese-style painting and one of my favourite. Looks so real and lively.

More Chinese paintings.

Also one of my favourite. It's actually a jetty being put together by puzzles of geometrical shapes.

2-in-1. Just like coffee and creamer. Looks at its best when combined although they can be individual paintings.

Wild chicken made of tin.

Trying to act cute but my arms can't bend like that.

Just want to be a piece of art so desparately.

my work

2008-08-03T19:02:00.004+08:00

This is the drawing I produced during personality lesson. I received some compliments so I thought why not I put up here for aution. Actually, I planned to post this up onto Curry Egg's blog since she has much more readers than I do but she decided that I'll have to share 50% of what I get with her. Then I started using my fingers to count. If I manage to only sell RM3 for this picture, then my share would be RM1.50. I don't think that can cover the cost of the materials I used, and if I feel thirsty after negotiating with her (regarding the price), I might wana get some drinks that spend that RM1.50. Oh crap. So, I decided that I should just exhibit my masterpiece here...I can't afford beter publicity by posting to a popular blog. Sigh~

The mother of this drawing. Haha...Being inspired by the beads and shiny ornaments which keep falling off due to the not-so-sticky glue I used, I wrote this prose,

Nature designed beauty in a Fashion that

it is made Mortal and Fades with Time,

But the Spirit within Lives till

Eternity.

Everything natural has a cycle and its time. That implies on us too. That butterfly sort of represents me. The shiny ornaments are my jewellery. My appearance may fade over time but the carefree spirit should always live in me. The things that I do, I hope, leave postive impact on other people's live. That is how the spirit may continue living. That applies to everyone. I'm sure all the things you say and do can affect others. Even a smile can leave trace in someone's heart.

I believe life can be as colourful as this painting.

after those tonnes of assignments...

2008-07-24T12:18:00.002+08:00

Finally, there is something I can blog about which is fun. i just read Sarah's blog and found that my life in campus is getting so dull these days. Although I enjoy being busy and such, but I lack some forms of entertainment. I could have just brainwashed myself and say "It's alright, you can go out and have all the fun you want this weekend". But week after week......sigh~
So, yesterday, i did something really fun. I DREW!!! Ya, as in drawing you know, with poster colors and such. And I decorated it with shiny beads. I wasn't really satisfy with my work although many of my classmates complimented. That that probaly has something to do with my idealistic personality---"Extraversion, iNtuition, Feeling and Perceiving". That was a result after taking the Myer-Briggs testing instrument. It's highly reliable. Because I just proved it that day during personality class when we did our project on drawing.

So, our lecturer is an American. The way she handles class is just totally different from the conventional and typical Malaysian teaching style. She brought along with her that lesson all sorts of materials and let us draw. I was too excited that I fetch a bowl of water from the washroom and find a comfortable place to start my project immediately. Yea, the spot I found was undoubtedly comfortable that my lecturer had to tell the class, "Isn't she special?"
It was then I realised that I was using the lecturer's desk whereas all my friends were on the floor in one big circle. Oops. "That's the personality of an ENFP, she'll do whatever intuitively if she needs too". I hope she didn't mind, because she is also an ENFP. I guess she understands.

26-8

2008-07-22T16:03:00.003+08:00

Just in case you all have thought that I have been kidnapped by aliens to outter space, I can inform you that I'm still alive on this piece of land called UM. I have some other problems like which I faced last semester and one of them is difficulty in accessing the internet from my hostel. Besides, I don't have extra/leisure time to update my blog because I'm experiencing sleep deficit. I wish I have 2 more hours of sleep per day to reach my target of sleeping for a sufficient 8 hour per day. On top of that, I need one rest day just to sleep till the sun shines on my face, or I can go shopping from day till night, or just doing nothing in my room but to relax and surf the net or maybe loiter in the campus, or even half a day just to go out for a movie or to pasar malam? How can those sound so far from reach? Waking up later than 8.30am is some luxurious activity I can't afford (including on Saturday and Sunday).
To cross out my list, my faculty's interaction day was over, our group found an instrument we could use on our reasearch later, 2 journal articles on research methodology had been submitted (but not the analysis of it, yet), what is in the queue?
UM education counselling group's freshies' night tonight 7.30pm, MT meeting for CCC also tonight at 11pm, public speaking on Thu, readings on pcychoanalysis theories, sorting of Chinese residents' biodata forms for college, division of all Chinese residents into their respective families is other task and planning for all of the activities to come throughout the year.

Well, that's still a lot. I just wish that I can sleep till 9.30am this Friday. Just this day.

My days in Esprit

2008-07-11T16:13:00.004+08:00

This is Choon, at the counter.

This is Lee Lee. I thought she was younger than me but I was wrong. She's in charge of the accessories.

This is Irene, a new temporary staff who takes care after the fitting room with me.

This picture is taken in the store with Angela (next to me), Na Na our store manager (front left) and Monica.

I had a great time working in Esprit. My colleagues are very friendly and nice so I'm going to miss them.

No more Football Craze like last time

2008-06-29T22:45:00.003+08:00

The final match of Euro 2008 will be on Malaysian time 30th June, 2.45am. I’m so glad that my favourite team, no other than Spain made it to the final. Yeah!~ I feel so sorry that I missed out all the matches before, but not the final one. I’m going to sleep early tonight so that I can wake up in time to watch the team in action. Germany is also a fine team, so it is going to be an interesting match. I can’t wait!

I don't how I could be so crazy in the years before. I followed nearly every match from the day World Cup starts especially in form 3 during World Cup 2002. When I got back home from school at 2pm, the forst thing I did wasn't eat nor bathe.It has got to be Football time! Sometimes, I watched until I got late to tuition. In school, we forecasted the results and pasted a big football poster (which belonged to Tua Pao Lip) with the latest results on the notice board next to me in form 6. It was a wonder the prefects never question it, I think they themselves peeped at our attractive poster. I was the "Penolong Ketua Ceria Kelas" that time some more.

Basically, I’m not a football fanatic but girls watching football matches has one common thing with guys watching beauty pageant contests. One important factor that makes me support Spain is its handsome yet skillful players. Most teams have one or two good looking players but Spain’s players are averagely handsome, kakaka. Although looks won’t help the players in the game when two teams tie, it is a bonus element that attracts female watchers. It’s not really the spirit of sports. Football fans may scold me or call me shallow but I can’t be penalized for admiring the good-looking faces and muscular bodies during a game, right? A good game will always be a good game and sports will always have rules to be followed. If the handsome guy is a lousy player, he should change his career instead. Like I say, it’s just a BONUS, the match is the main thing.

I bet I’ll have to go to work with panda eyes again the next morning but it’s worthwhile. By the way, it’s my last day with Esprit, the Spring tomorrow. I think I’ll miss all my colleagues there. Ah, time flies.

Working as a Sales Assistant

2008-06-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

Currently, I’m working at Esprit in the Spring. In the letter of appointment, my position upon employment should be “Temporary Sales Consultant”. The first day of work was Hari Gawai, a public holiday in Sarawak, so the mall was quite crowded. I find it a bit tough at the beginning because I did several part time jobs before but not much on the retail line. I had to learn little things like how to put sensor tags onto the garments and how to detach them. Besides that, I have to stand for at least 8 hours during work. As a result of exhaustion, my legs protest by sending the veins to the surface of my epidermis as a sign of warning. Although I work in a shopping mall, I feel that the spotlights can shine as brightly as the sun. Long hours of exposure under the lights drives me giddy sometimes. The worst times should be during sales, which is now. The boutique can turn into a battle field in a blink of eye. Our job is to fold the shirts nicely and place them to where they belong.
All of these, are mere challenges, the greatest one would be…………………………………….the customers.
Customers can ask you funny questions. Below is a comparison of the answer of a qualified sales consultant and an ill-mannered “ah moi”.

Customer: Why are the things here so expensive, got people want to buy meh?
Sales consultant: (Smile) Our brand is a trusted brand and we have assurance of products.
Ill-mannered Ah Moi: Aiya, no money don’t buy la.
Truth: I also think the things are quite costly. Even after discount, I won’t call it cheap. If you want quality, you’ll have to pay more.

Customer: Moi, this shirt I buy 2, you count me cheaper la.
Sales consultant: (Smile) Sorry, ma’am. Our price is fixed.
Ill-mannered Ah Moi: You wait lor, until I become the Taukenio then I give you discount la.
Truth: Sigh~ I’m only a small, small sales assistant, even the supervisor can’t give you discount. Dear friends, I believe it is unwise to bargain in shopping malls. Remember, you’re not at a pasar malam!

Customer: Aiyo, why this pair of pants makes me look so fat?
Sales consultant: No…not at all…in fact it makes your legs look longer.
Ill-mannered Ah Moi: Fat ar? Diet la!
Truth: Hello, Miss, I think you are thinner than me. Why do you wana complain when you have a body which is near to perfect? Anything less than perfect is a flaw on a woman’s body but tell me, whose is perfect? Even Kate Moss’ isn’t.

Customer: Can you get me a new one? Did you check properly? Really no stock already?
Sales Consultant: Sorry, but this is our last piece.
Ill-mannered Ah Moi: You think I can get extra pay by cheating you?
Truth: Usually we won’t lie to customers, unless we are extremely busy or lazy. Ah Moi is definitely correct at this case, we don’t get extra pay for cheating customers. Honesty rewards you with more customers and business.

Customer: (Points to the zip) What does YKK mean?
Sales Consultant: I’m sorry sir, I have no idea. (Trying to look as humble and innocent as possible)
Ill-mannered Ah Moi: You go home and Google yourself lo, I’m not an encyclopedia.
Truth: Ah Moi is right again. Sales consultants don’t necessarily know EVERYTHING. I didn’t know customers have so high expectations on people who are paid a few hundred bucks per month. Luckily, that customer has met one who is so willing to learn (i.e. me). I was guessing the whole afternoon what YKK stands for until I read on Wikipedia. Is it the model of the zip or the material it is made of? So, YKK is actually one of the biggest manufacturers of zippers. Along that, the company also produces parts for engineering. Next time you find a YKK zip on your trousers, don’t panic. It is not hazardous, it is a name for good zippers.

The last and most annoying question of all:
Customer: Ah Moi, you’re not Malay ka?
Me: (Smile forcefully) No, I’m a Chinese.
Ill-mannered me inside my heart: I have a name tag which tells. If you can’t differentiate Chinese names from Malay names, I forgive you!
Truth: We can discuss this issue some time later. It can be long winded. In short, I’m a pure Chinese, I’m not even a mix-blood.

All in all, I do enjoy this job because I have nice colleagues and also nice customers. Sometimes, it’s really funny and interesting to meet all kinds of people. Today, my manager praised me. She said I’m a fast learner and can handle my responsibilities well. I guess I’m a qualified Sales Consultant after all.

petrol=valuable asset

2008-06-05T00:53:00.003+08:00

The price of fuel is rising again. SIGH~ ( I think this is everyone's reaction when they learn about it maybe except for kids). That means no more 游车河 and speeding (maximum speed of 50 km/h). Why, you'd ask. It's because the faster you drive, the more petrol your car consumes, meaning more money burnt. Besides, if you brake when your car is running on a high speed, the fuel level goes down even more drastically. If not, can consider to not switching on air-cond while driving. I guess it's not that hard when weather is cool. What about during hot days?........
I think I rather ride a bicycle then.
Yesterday evening, I queued to pump petrol till full tank. All the petrol stations were crowded, as if there's a banner which writes "SALE! up to 70%, LAST DAY!!!"
There were even reporters. Aiya, why didn't they interview me, so that you might see me in the papers tomorrow. If you see a pretty young lady wearing sunglasses and a turquoise top in a white toyota in a Shell petrol station in one of the pictures of the front page of newspaper tomorrow, that's me!~ haha. But there's really nothing to be happy about.

what defines beauty

2008-05-28T21:51:00.013+08:00

Beauty to me is not just a pretty face, a sexy body, or an alluring look. Lately, I found an icon to define my perception of beauty. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I think you won't disagree with me this time.

She's a celebrity but not an actress, a model or a singer, but she sure has all what it takes to be one.

She's elegant, sophisticated, bright, wise and a mother of 4.

Not to forget her great sense of fashion and style.

This is her profile.
Name :Queen Rania Of Jordan
Birth Date : August 31, 1970
Birth Place : Kuwait
Husband : His Majesty King Abdullah bin Al-Hussein on June 10, 1993
Children : HRH Prince Hussein, born June 28, 1994; HRH Princess Iman, born September 27, 1996; and HRH Princess Salma, born September 26, 2000.

She obtained a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration from the American University in Cairo. Upon her graduation from university, Queen Rania returned to Jordan and pursued a career in banking, followed by a brief career in the field of Information Technology.

Activities she is active in encompass issues of national concern, such as the environment, youth, human rights, tourism, and culture, among others. She also has a special interest in several core issues: the development of income-generating projects and the advancement of best practices in the field of microfinance, the promotion of family safety and the protection of children from violence, the promotion of Early Childhood Development, and the incorporation of Information Technology into the educational system; and the promotion of tourism and the preservation of Jordan’s heritage. Many of Queen Rania's programs focus on finding a common ground between East and West and bridging the cultural divide.

She is President of the Jordan Society for Organ Donation and the Jordan Cancer Society. On July 12, 2001, Queen Rania was awarded an Honorary Doctor of Laws (LLD) degree from the University of Exeter in the United Kingdom.

On the 16th of May 2008, she received an honorary doctorate in International Relations from the University of Malaya, that's how I got to know about her. When she went to UM, a place which I'm so familiar with, I'm already at hometown. If not, I might get to she her...argh...such a pity. The press reported that she planted a tree in the campus, so I'm going to find it out and take a photo of it. Haha...I don't simply admire celebrities, but I'm really impressed with women like Queen Rania. No wonder they call her "Princess Diana of Arab".

snowing in kuching

2008-05-25T23:13:00.007+08:00

on a windy saturday afternoon dated 24th may 2008,one historical wonder happened in Kuching...

It snowed!!!!!

I'm not kidding! You guys know how I suck in editting pictures using those canggih-canggih programmes. In fact, I don't even have it in my laptop. Look at how happy those kids are...

And this, is taken by my sister. It's so beautiful, I felt like singing "I'm dreaming of a white summer, just in the hometown of my own...."

But...if Kuching snows, what portrayed in "The day after tomorrow" would happen. Nevertheless, the scene is really lovely. Some ladies were busy collecting cotton, probably to make pillows for their love ones. Isn't that romantic? Instead if going to Japan and see sakura, seeing cotton in Kuching may be an option who has a tighter budget. This will sure boost the local tourism ; )

More than a book...

2008-05-20T23:51:00.005+08:00

Currently stuck in front of my laptop counting down the last few minutes to 21st of May. It's not a birthday...not some great celebration...but the due date of my library books which I brought back to Kch and plan to read them over the long, long, long break. Looks like internet explorer just couldn't display the website of the University's Library...okay...that means....47 days late if a miracle doesn't occur. I even asked 3hui to help me check on the website but also gets the same results. Great, been very generous to the library all this while...keep paying fines.

At least this time I remembered the due date an hour earlier instead of many days later. The library should be gaining a lot of profit if all the students are like me. Can I just blame the server or what? No matter how I complain, it's all useless. Some librarians' attitude towards their clients (i.e. students, they don't really respect us as users) is terrible until one extend I think it's not worth mentioning. Don't they know that without the annual fees and fine we pay, they're jobless?

Maybe, it's just my fault for being too dependent/trusting on technology. Now, I'll just make sure I fully utilise those books. I can read them, use them to fan myself during such hot weathers, pretend that they're cushion and sit on them, dish some trash like orange skin or nails before throwing it into rubbish bin, flap mosquitoes and flies till death, arrange them like arranging "Legos", using them as defending weapons when I go out (since crime rates are so high) by throwing them vigorously towards the criminal etc. See how much a book can do, even without the need to destroy them. Who says books are meant to be read? A book, is more than that.

18 minutes past 12am. ok, will discover more usage of a book soon. Stay tune for more useful tips.

Liberated~

2008-05-05T16:47:00.001+08:00

end of the semester, end of first year...
last paper today spells M-E-R-D-E-K-A!!!

别人有1046，我有C205

2008-05-04T13:24:00.004+08:00

今天，整理自己一年里累积下来的珍藏
丢掉了很多自己多时舍不得的东西
这次收拾得快，因为一点也不手软
狠下心，丢。
不知丢了多少我这年来的经历
害怕不留痕迹，我以后没有记忆的cue
所以还是允许自己偷偷把别人眼中的“废物”塞入盒子的缝隙里。
增了一点点的重量，没人会察觉吧？

书架上的书该怎么处理？
我的室友问。
归还图书馆呀！
啊~原来属于我的书本真是少得可怜
是三人之中最少的一个
呵呵，我买书的钱真的省得太离谱了。
但，钱倒没省到
一部分已被冲进粪池，一些随着欢笑声飘走了
至少留下一张张的数码相片和一片片的记忆图
钱，也用于参加活动的费用
才惊觉自己参加活动的册子竟然足以媲美课堂上的笔记
若妈得知了，我的耳朵必定淹水！

对于书本、笔记只塞满了两个礼物盒，
自己也没有愧疚的感觉（好像还有其他物品参杂其中）
继续咯，
把我床边的布告板上的纸张剥下。
有三张朋友的留言
很不想丢，但总不能太留恋
提倡环保的我惟有把它们贴上部落格啦

留言一：
BS shan & WC Hui,
Go to ren sheng di bu shou de di fang, must take care of yourselves properly oh, eat more veges to prevent constipation problem. Got anything call flo. And families. And friends. Lastly, all the best in UM and find me when ur back during ur break oh. =D
Ben

p.s.以上留言由仑以红色圆珠笔记录，留言者Ben口述

留言二：
All the best in the things u do!

很aktif,应该是满creative的人喔！！好好加油！！

看你还瞒多话讲得，Hehe…

Hi, its really nice to meet you, try to express your idea as much as possible. Hope you enjoy ur time in PTUM : )

第一次见你，希望合作愉快！

美女，加油！！nice to meet ya!!!

Nice knowing You! : )

希望我们合作愉快la! Joel.

合作愉快！！！

HELLO!!!

很高兴认识你à 合作愉快。

死鬼Beishan, raya不要会KCH!找打！

吃饭快一点neh…Ha Ha… 不要回….teman me!!

Ha Ha : )

（爱心）可爱精力充沛的女生^o^ 很高兴认识你！一起加油^c^ 淑环！

马来人!!!欢迎来到西马哦!!!玩得开心点哦!!! （乌龟）美丽

p.s. 这是参加第七届马大灯笼节的第一个互动活动上得到的留言。我已竭尽所能保留朋友们的留言但里头的一些图案如笑脸、爱心、及乌龟真的没办法啦。而且电脑无法保留每个人的字迹，遗憾！

留言三：
马来珊：
其实。。。。。。。。。。你的。。。。。。。。。。。。床。。。。。。。。。。。还可以
。。。。。。。。。再。。。。。。。。。乱一点！！！！

p.s. 这是素馨于我不在房间时有感而留的。这是所有留言里最有影响力的。每次看到它，我就会勤力地整理我的床。现象持续蛮久的，直到我又开始忙碌起来了。但它不时仍会提醒我。。。怎么办，我该不该留下这纸条？希望明年还会有人写新的一张给我。

此外，我也留下了犯罪的铁证------
一张轻快铁(LRT)的单程票单.
其实我收了两张，这是第一张，从KLCC站溜出来的
原本打算连Monorail及 KTM的票都收集的
不然我的collection不够完整
但似乎比较困难。。。
原来要窃走一张自己付了钱的小卡还真不容易
噢，不对。。。付了钱就不算偷吧？
反正是出自好奇那个系统如何运作罢了。

今天，也帮室友搬东西
她比我早回家，上学期我是最迟回的一个。
空荡荡的房间，只有我和灰尘
还有我的行李。
很庆幸，
这次我不是最后一个离开。
我可以清理房间，
但要如何收拾我们的笑声？
我可以丢掉一叠叠的纸张，
但该怎么遗忘我们有理、无厘头的话题？
我可以把东西搬走，
但该怎样移动我们的感情？
搬不动。舍不得。办不到。
一切一切，只有C205 知道。

后记：还有好多东西未收，仍有很多种心情待处理。。。下学期，C205是谁的呢？

星期六，阴天，慵懒

2008-05-03T14:54:00.002+08:00

披头散发的我
刚从午觉中醒过来
乌云密布的外头
让我萌起继续睡的冲动

啊~该起啦，懒惰的丫头。。。
眠都补足了，
再充电，脑都快被烧坏了。

醒过来的第一件事：
开电脑。

糟了，
这是我最近睡醒后的第一自然反应
惨了，
我不知觉地依赖上这四方方的机器
期望它会带我到朋友的身边
陪我聊天、哈拉、废话连篇。
希望它会带我看看世界奇闻
国内的琐事、科学界的新发现。

今天，我的方方心情不佳
不带我游览海角天边
只许我和朋友聊聊。
遇到在家乡的死党，
细数着她回到家乡所吃到的美食
还差一道炒粿。
这里也有炒粿
有豆芽的炒粿，
味道不是我熟悉的炒粿，
但它仍是炒粿的炒粿。

唉~又来了
无心温书的征兆又来了。
星期六呀，
多想外出的我
多羡慕别人可以自由游玩的我
想象到外头有多姿多彩的节目的我
把自己的房间当监狱的我

人在，心不在。

2008-04-23T10:16:00.003+08:00

Two days before final exam, something unexpectable happened---our bangunan peperiksaan (BP, exam hall, which is actually a building) got burned! Don't know idea whose brilliant idea it is. The university didn't announce the reason behind this unfortunate event so we keep guessing.

Someone must have been too panic for not being able to finish his/her revision;

For fun...but April Fool was on 1st April, right?

Political reasons...ahh...there was this news on uni politics in the papers a few weeks ago;

Someone BBQ inside?

Ok, whatever the dumb reason is, I never "liked" the BP before. It is damn big that you have to keep a mental map of the location in order to get to the right spot to sit for your exam. There are too many entrances but you may only go through specific ones or else you will be chased out. That means more walking and sweating when you find your way through this maze.

After the fire, whether big or small, I'm not sure, I finally realise the goodness of this building of "horror", the warland between lecturers and students. The first and second paper was held in our own faculty's auditorium. Space was really narrow and there are no proper chairs and desks, only the typical auditorium seats where you have to turn this piece of wood or plastic on your right so that you put your paper and write on it. So, it was really uncomfortable. Really missed the spacious exam hall.

Besides that, all the faces you see are familiar. After all they are from your faculty, who else will you expect? When we have exams in the BP, we get to see students from all over UM, from law fac to medic fac, and from first year to final year. That will be much interesting, won't it? How come students from other faculties dress so nicely? Some girls put on makeup...wah...that's some effort, should ask the examiner to give them extra marks for colouring the day. Some guys dress smart too, some are overly done but most are like they just woke up from sleep. Well, everyone looks like that during exam period.

All in all, I miss the BP. Despite its distance from my residential college (20 minutes walk) and the freezing temperature (-5 degree Celcius) inside, I still enjoy having exams in this refridgerator. Yeah, two more papers to go and I'm gonna bring 2 jackets thr...yes, sounds very kiasu, but I don't want my fingers to be frozen until I can't write. I can even feel the cold in my feet which is covered by my socks and shoes. Some people claim that their pens don't work inside because the ink freezes.

2008-04-06T11:31:00.024+08:00

This is a belated birthday post (first part) attributed to Kah Chun and Kit Meng. The outting and celebration was fun. This is the first time I got enjoy TGI Friday's food. It's scrumptious.

I think this is the first steak I've ever had in KL. Surprising right? What to do, students like us rely on loans, must not overspend. So, can pamper myself once in a while only.

The birthday boy and girl had to stand on chairs so that their friends could take photoes more easily. I think all the guests in the restaurant knew it was their birthday ;-D

That was the second birthday cake which contains liquor. We had one at 12am in college.

Look what the birthday guy got? Seems like he's really proud of it... The size? Ngenge...Don't know...wasn't me who bought it.

Think he got too high after eating the cake that contained alcohol so he danced like no one's around :-p

After dinner, we took a stroll at One Utama to promote digestion.

These are the pictures we took after Andrew and Wah Ching felt so embarassed sitting on the benches that face the lingerie shops each time we take a rest while waiting for the other girls. It can't be a coincidence why the benches are all set facing the lingerie shops, right?

So, the guys decided to go downstairs as there was a car show before ladies walking out of the lingerie shops hit them with their handbags or umbrellas.

I find this the nicest looking.

But I don't have that much money so I can only afford the smaller one lor...even got my own car plate and key already ;-D

Haha...I felt so comfortable inside, the position of the seat is just right that I could drive off straightaway.

I drove on and on in the shopping complex until I saw this sign which attracted my attention...

WOW~That's equivalent to an emergency stop sign!

Brazillian wax? I presume that hurts @_@

Then, I decided to get out of the car because there were hotter stuffs.

Woo~guess where Malaysia is on this eco-bra?

Haha...my geography not that bad la ho? I think guys who dislike geography will be interested if the teachers use this stimulation...erm, I mean teaching simulation in class...hoho

However, this is not my type la...

This is much better...looks so sophisticated that I feel like wearing it as my wedding gown in the future...

Oops~ rahsia terbocor... *_*

The one I love most is the one on the right. Sexy~

And you must take a look at the photo of the designer!!! Don't be surprise if the designer is a guy as all the designers are GUYS (since they understand what they want from women most).

But you really got to have a look at this particular designer!

Goodness...so handsome yet talented!!!

If only he is my future husband... Then, he can design more of these for me! Hahahahahahahahaha *can't control but I'm too excited to think of this*

BUT....

It'll be my honour to wear them

ONLY IF I've got a hotter body...

Like this?

Ermm...now you know some counselling students may be really bad at editting pictures.

一个人忙碌的星期天

2008-04-06T10:59:00.003+08:00

忙碌，真的能够麻醉寂寞吗？

忙了一整天，躺在床上大睡一觉，醒来后心情又如何？

原本是个美好的星期天，阳光普照

睡到自然醒的感觉也挺美满的，

一丝淡淡的光透过床边的窗洒在我脸庞

阳光亲吻着脸颊，温柔地把我唤醒。

空荡荡的房间里，只有自己一个，若不小心，

忘了为自己安排一些节目，今天该做什么呢？

冲杯饮料，边看杂志，边听广播。

不想只听音乐，因为会让自己更沉沦于自己的世界

就当广播电台的DJ是个好朋友，陪自己渡过这难熬的寂寞。

今天吃饭可以不订时间，想吃就吃；不想吃就不吃。

天气美好的话就走出房间吧

太炎热的话不如待在家里看卡通，寻找毫无厘头也会笑的童心。

不想上网，害怕看见朋友的status是busy 或away

害怕没人陪我聊天。

美好的星期天，谁愿留在家？

至少还有我这焖瓜，情愿与寂寞握手，做个朋友

宁可学习享受这种孤单，也不愿行尸走肉于喧哗的大街上。

寂寞时，可与自己的内心交谈

问候自己，“最近的我，还好吗？”

给自己一个宁静的空间思考，寂寞应该会更有意义吧。

从这段谈话中，是否有了启示？

没有，也没关系。

反正是个星期天，让自己的脑袋放空也无妨

悠哉闲哉--是我今天的特权。